Donate Now
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Rape (Page 2)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   
Author Topic: Rape
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
With that film? Just do yourself a favor and avoid a trigger: once they start showing the scene with the teacher in the classroom, walk away for a few minutes. (It's a great movie, period: very inspiring.)

I'm so proud of you for talking such good care of yourself in this, Cjmammy: look how proactive you've been! That's really fantastic.

I don't think it's nuts to find comfort in crying and being able to cry: quite the opposite. crying is really good for us, and bottling up feelings and emotions really is NOT.

And I'm more than happy to help, especially in situations like this. very personally, I know much too well what it's like to keep a silence for a while and not have the resources or ability to talk about rape. It's so hard, and when all of a sudden that is available to us, of COURSE we will tend to want to jump in and experience that watershed.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm just so glad that iv finally taken the step in my life to open and talk about it and I can thank you for that x you have helped me so much and I'm real grateful for it.

I still wake up in the nights feelin that there is some1 in the same room as me . And iv even started havin panic attacks when I'm in a crowded room.

I'm feelin real nervous about meetin the councilor I that normal

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When is that meeting again?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's 2 weeks Friday the 19th

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, the waiting.

So, sounds like we need to find you some ways to manage these feelings in the meantime. Are you keeping a journal, by any chance? That's one thing that can help a lot, just writing all of this out.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No not keepin a journal I'm afraid some1 will find it. They have said they will phone me everyday till the meet from Monday. So that I don't put a lid back on my emotions and that I can tell them anything I want but I find it hard to talk over the phone especially the silence. When I spoke to them on Friday there was alot of silence. And it made me on edge as if they were trying to analyse me over the phone.

What's frightening me more are flashbacks to the night and the panic attacks I got to the point today I Juarez wanted to hide away and wished I didn't open up but then I realised if I dine that it would mean he had won again and gained more control over me again.

I want to be able to stand up and show him I'm stranger and betta than that, and that I'm the best mother I can be to MY son and that is 1 thing he wont have control over

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Stranger should be stronger lol

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I thought things would get easier by telling some1 about what happened but I seem to b gettin worse I don't know if this is part of the cycle every day I'm thinking about what happend and the more I'm thinking the more I'm remembering all the details that I somehow managed to block out.

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That can certainly happen, and I know how hard that can be, so terribly hard.

Can I ask who you worry will find your journal? Are you in a living situation where you don't have privacy? Can you fill me in on that a little?

Do also bear in mind that your process isn't about proving anything to anyone: not to the person who raped you, not to yourself. It's just about doing the best you can to take good care of yourself, which also includes allowing yourself to not be so super-strong all the time. Sometimes to take care of ourselves, we have to allow ourselves to feel sad, to be vulnerable, to be something other than super-people. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
At the moment I'm still living with my parents till I save enough money to move out with my little 1. I have no privacey at all not good being 30 I know.

My health visitor recons I can't separate the good from the bad that in the last 5 years iv managed to switch off all emotions and that she thinks it is goin to be a hard process for me to learn how to switch them back in. I constantly feel that ppl are looking at me and that I have to be this strong person that some ppl mistake for that I have a heart of stone I feel so insecure about myself.

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
How about a journal with a lock on it? They still make those. [Smile]

For sure, if you've gotten in the pattern of locking and bottling everything up, relearning how not to do that is going to take some doing and probably feel pretty scary for a little while.

The people expecting you to be so strong all of the time: have you been able to ask them why they have that expectation, and to make clear that, just like them, you're human and won't always be strong or stoic? Is this really about their expectations of you, or do you think it might be about your own expectations of yourself?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it's mainly mine because before this happend to me I was carefree and strong and now I'm this person who has realised that I'm as venerable as the next so I think that by lockin my emotions away I'm putting on this front that I'm a strong person that has no feelings and can't express how I feel. The only thing the keeps me goin at the moment is my son.

My friends think I'm this strong person because they always turn to me when they got problem, and feel they can tell me anything, but yet when I need to talk to any1 they are not there for me. So I feel totally alone [Frown]

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you asked your friends to be there for you?

One thing that can happen is that if we put ourselves in the position of only helping others and never asking for help ourselves, people can get the impression we don't need help because we positioned ourselves as the strong helper who never needs help. (Been there, done that, have the t-shirt and so much more!)

So, sometimes if that's happened, what we need to do is to ask for help a lot, and make very clear that we really need it, even saying that we know we made it seem like we didn't, but we really do.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i have asked them to be there for me and that i wanted to tel them something that i would need there support in but all i got out of them was they were to busy.

the 1 friend i did speak to about it told me that i must have said or done something for it to happen to me with made me feel sick.

so i guess i am in this on my own where my so called friends are. it does help talkin on here but i feel that im taking up to much time when u could be helpin others

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, maybe it's time to make some new friends. Sometimes friends that work for us as friends in one phase of life aren't so workable in another.

I know that's probably daunting to think about right now with so much on your plate, but sometimes there are positives in the process like this. For instance, if, as it turns out, you've had very one-sided friendships, that's been crappy, period, even if you haven't acutely felt how crappy it is until now. So, if something that comes out of this is you cultivating friendships that are more mutually beneficial, that's a bonus. [Smile]

You're not taking up too much time, I promise. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just hate being and feeling like this u thought it would get easier but the light at the en of the tunnel is fading and not getting brighter.

I'm having phone contact with the councillor tomorrow so I'm hoping that will make this a little betta for me I just want to run away and hide from it all

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So often, this is one of those one-day-at-a-time things. One day will be so rough, then the next will be a lot better, and it can go back and forth a whole lot.

Do you have access to a library or the ability to buy books for yourself? If so, I can suggest a few that might help you through this some.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah I can go to the library and I can also buy some I think at the moment I'll try anything.

I'm slightly frightened of this phone contact tomorrow because I don't know if I can start any conversation off or if I freeze on the phone I don't know what they will think of me for not being able to speak .

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(Hey, Cjmammy, hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I know Heather will have some great book suggestions for you, but I just want try to reassure you about your phone contact tomorrow.)

I really wouldn't be concerned about not being able to say much, or anything, over the phone. Counselors know that people have all sorts of different reactions to counseling, and that it can be a really uncomfortable experience at first, and they're prepared for that. If it helps, I spent my first few therapy sessions ever mostly crying and the rest of the time mumbling one-word answers to questions when I felt comfortable speaking at all. It gets better, it gets easier to communicate, and no counselor or therapist will ever judge you for being nervous or scared or whatever else you may be feeling.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was expecting the councillor to phone me some time today so I got myself prepared for all types of questions but re phone call never came so I guess that I was worried over nothing I'm starting to believe all over again that somehow it was my fault I can feel the lid closing in on all my emotions again [Frown] I'm trying so hard to work out who I can and can't trust since iv started openin up about what happend to me [Frown]

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was expecting the councillor to phone me some time today so I got myself prepared for all types of questions but re phone call never came so I guess that I was worried over nothing I'm starting to believe all over again that somehow it was my fault I can feel the lid closing in on all my emotions again [Frown] I'm trying so hard to work out who I can and can't trust since iv started openin up about what happend to me [Frown]

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was expecting the councillor to phone me some time today so I got myself prepared for all types of questions but re phone call never came so I guess that I was worried over nothing I'm starting to believe all over again that somehow it was my fault I can feel the lid closing in on all my emotions again [Frown] I'm trying so hard to work out who I can and can't trust since iv started openin up about what happend to me [Frown]

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's okay and it's going to be okay.

I know we're in different time zones, but if it helps you to feel more secure, today I'll be around all day, so can talk anytime you want to.

I don't think it's your fault. Do you want to talk some more about why you do and try and unpack that a bit more?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I shouldn't have been out that night I should have been in work but they gave me the night off cause I had worked 5 weeks solid without a break so I decided to have a girls night wore that special dress had my hair and makeup done and even had a spray tan I feel if I didn't make so much of a effort that night to go out then it wouldn't jab happend to me if I was in my normal goin out clothes

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, so how about this: how about if this had happened on your way home from work? If you had gone to work, and this still happened, do you think you'd feel differently?

Rape isn't about someone's sexual appeal or the way someone is dressed. We have study after study after study that shows clearly it's about power, not about a rapist finding someone attractive or not.

You getting dressed up likely made no difference when it comes to being assaulted, just like the fact that my great-grandmother who was raped and murdered in her home in her 80's wearing her smelly housedress likely had nothing to do with the why of her assault. She wasn't dressed up and got assaulted. You were and you were: how women who are sexually assaulted dress and look varies widely. So, the idea this wouldn't have happened to you in your regular clothes isn't sound. It happens to lots of women in their regular clothes every day.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Its just how I feel and deep down I know there is nothing I could and should or would have done different.

It's just trying to get it through to my head I want to accept that what happend and there is nothing I can do. Apart from the memories of that night iv got the constant reminder every day ehne I look at my son getting older and I'm always worried he will turn out like his dad my attacker

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think one of the hardest parts of healing from rape is around the truth we have to accept that sometimes there is nothing we could have done to avoid being assaulted. That can be a very scary truth: it can make us feel so unsafe in the world, so while blaming ourselves certainly does not feel at all good, it can feel more comforting than acknowledging there are times in life and our world when any of us can simply be completely powerless. Do you know what I mean?

Per your son, there is NO data or study so far that shows there is anything genetic about rape. There is, on the other hand, LOADS of data to show that people who rape tend to learn a lot of the attitudes that fuel rape from their own families and communities in a myriad of ways.

So, chances are very good that simply by being a loving parent who rears their child to really understand things like that they have no right to someone else's body, like that they can be powerful without hurting other people, like that sexual consent is so important, like that women aren't his slaves or enemies....all of those kinds of values will likely make a HUGE difference, and are probably things you're already teaching your child as it is. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
FYI, this is part of a much longer piece, but I think you might benefit from some of the information here: http://www.scarleteen.com/who_are_rapists_and_where_did_rape_even_come_from

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Per those books I brought up the other day, here are some suggestions for some I think you should be able to find in a UK library, or can request and likely get copies in of:

After Silence: Rape and My Journey Back by Nancy Venable Raine
The Survivor's Guide: To Recovery from Rape and Sexual Abuse by Robert A. Kelly, Fay Maxted, and Elizabeth Campbell
The Rape Recovery Handbook: Step-by-Step Help for Survivors of Sexual Assaults by Aphrodite Matsakis
Recovering from Rape by Linda A. Ledray

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thankyou I will have a look to see if I can get them.

Is it normal to feel as if you are the only person goin through this even though you know you are not.

I want all this pain to stop so that I can get on with my life and be the best mother my son needs ne to be.

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Until we connect with others who ARE or have gone through something similar, of course we're going to feel isolated and alone. Knowing, intellectually, others have been through this before is one thing. Really feeling those connections is something else, and until you make them, no one can expect you to feel them.

I totally understand what you're saying. At the same time, it might help to remember that your son will likely go through hard times in his life, too. So, being able to see a parent go through difficulty and have hard feelings, feel those feelings, but still work to manage their lives and care for the people around them is not a bad thing for him to see so long as you're keeping healthy boundaries. If he never sees something like that, after all, if and when he has his own big life challenges, it's going to be tougher for him to know they're something people can survive.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I do understand everything but I'm finding it hard I do appreciate everything u are sayin and the help u have given me to try and come to terms with things thankyou so much x

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, just so you know, you don't always have to appreciate what I say, it doesn't always have to work for you, and if and when neither of those things happen, that's okay. All I can do is offer what I can, and all you can do is take from it what's useful to you. No harm, no foul on anyone's part if I can't give you what you need or if what I can give isn't working for you at a given time. Okay?

You are also allowed to have difficult feelings, to feel overwhelmed and challenged...to feel any of the ways you feel. You've made pretty clear you don't feel a lot of permission not to be strong, so I want to say to you, so you can hear it from someone, that you certainly have that permission here in our interactions. I have no expectation of you to keep it together every minute or to be strong and I fully support you having times when you can't be or just don't want to be.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cjmammy
Activist
Member # 49675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cjmammy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Deep down I'm gallon apart and just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep and not wake up at all. I get times when I want to run away and leave my world behind and start all over again but I know that even if I done that my past would catch up on me.

I was hoping that I would never have to say anything about what had happened to me cause I felt so ashamed

--------------------
Cj

Posts: 65 | From: Wales | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I completely understand.

Do you feel like you might be helped if I talk a little bit about my personal experience with this? I tend not to share personally with users unless they ask or want that just to keep good boundaries and to make sure my experiences don't overstep yours, but I think this might be one of those situations where it might help.

So, if you think it might, I'm happy to share a little from my own experiences with this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3