Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » i'm worried about my girlfriend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: i'm worried about my girlfriend
Member # 45902

Icon 4 posted      Profile for honkytonk12     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My girlfriend and I are both aware of the fact that her mom emotionally abuses her. She told me its something that's been going on for as long as she can remember and that ever since I came into the picture, her mom got better. I personally don't believe it was her mom getting better, i think it was the fact she was spending less time with her so it appeared better.

Well in the recent weeks her mom has been really hard on her. She's been grounding her almost everyday and its been getting harder and harder to hangout with her. For example, today we had plans to hang out after she took care of her errands and cleaned the house, but her errands took longer than she thought so she asked her mom if she can do some before she left and then do the rest when she came back. Her mom responded by grounding her and told her that everything she does in life is either right or wrong and everytime she does something wrong, shes getting grounded. So it just blew up from there. Later after all the fighting stopped her dad tried talking to her to calm her down but her mom came in and just went off on her. After all that stopped she called me and told me everything and told me that she should try to kill herself again because that's what got her mom to be nice the first time.

So obviously im super scared for her. i don't really know what to do. i calmed her down enough so she won't do any harm to herself right now, but she's still in a really bad place. I told my dad how her mom was being, but i didn't tell him everything she said because I don't want to get her in anymore trouble than she's already in.

So my questions are: What can i do that won't get her into anymore trouble? is there anything i can say to calm her down?

Also my girlfriend is bipolar and has depression and anxiety issues. she's on a lot of medication for it so i know her mom is aware of her problems, so shouldn't she be extra careful with the way she treats her?

[ 02-21-2010, 04:05 PM: Message edited by: honkytonk12 ]

Posts: 1 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is a bit tricky, because grounding someone or threatening with grounding often isn't abusive. Mind, I don't think its great parenting either, but all by itself it isn't actually abusive.

Can you fill me in a little bit more on what's got you feeling like her mother is abusive? Is her father abusive as well?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3