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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » After Rape?

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Author Topic: After Rape?
teadanger
Neophyte
Member # 44576

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Hello,

Seeing as I am already on the site trying to understad my medical problems, I thought now would be the best time to discuss something that has been on my mind for some time now.

Almost two years ago now I was raped while living on my own in LA. Afterwards I fell into substance abuse and caused trouble for my ex boyfriend. I did call the rape hotline, but ended up hanging up on the girl because it sounded like she was reading from a paper. Afterwards me and my then boyfriend broke up.

Instead of becoming scared and reserved I became... well a sex addict. Please understand that I am a very shy, goody two shoes, kind of girl. Sex with strangers was completely not like me.

So here are some of my questions:

1. Are hotlines and support group typically liked that? I had to gather all my courage to dial that number and disappointment just doesnt even cover it. I haven't tried going to anyone since. (In fact this is the first time I have spoke about this to someone who isn't a close friend.)

2. Is it common to come out of this situation as a sex addict? Im embarrsed to even talk about it because of my reaction. Instead of being afraid and non functional I went out and slept with many men, of all ages, many who I didn't know. Is this normal? Why would that be my reaction because in honesty I find sex tiring and dirty.

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<3 With all my heart, Tea

Posts: 5 | From: San Jose, CA | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hi teadanger, I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience with that hotline. I volunteer on one, too, and it sounds like that one person was just very inexperienced/not properly trained. [Frown] Personally, I think it's absolutely okay to say to the person that you don't feel like they are really hearing you and ask for someone else with more experience. After all, the service is for you, to help you and other survivors, so you get to say when you feel that person isn't giving you the care they should be giving.

There are a lot of different reactions people can have after a rape. For some people, having a lot of sex can be a way to try and reclaim that sense of sexual autonomy that was taken in the assault. It sounds like you are not feeling so great, though, so do you feel you might want to get some counseling or support to find alternative coping mechanisms? We'd be glad to help you locate some resources in your area for survivors. Support groups are all going to be different, but often it's about sharing experiences, talking about coping mechanisms, and offering support to others who've been through similar things. One-on-one counseling may also be something to try, and we can see if there are any in your area that offer sliding scale fees. All of this is up to you. What would you like to do? What can we help you with?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kalex
Activist
Member # 43486

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I have no experience with your second question, but I'm in training to be a volunteer at a crisis and information line. I'm really sorry you had an experience like that, and I agree that she was not properly trained. We are taught that our job is to be supportive, to listen to the caller and help them help themselves. I'm sorry that girl was so unhelpful. I've done listening shifts where I listen to full-fledged volunteers take calls, and I've found that they're really kind and helpful. In my experience, hotlines are not like that.
Posts: 52 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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