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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » I am out of control

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Author Topic: I am out of control
Member # 43843

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I suffer from depression cronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I have children one of whom is disabled. I have been abused as a child and watched a man destroy me and my mom. I have not had good relationships. I am in one now.And he is a good guy. I am the one cussing and hitting and just being disrespectfull to him. I wont to leave him. i am so confussed it seems as though I am losing my mind. He works , plays his game drinks and maybe take out the trash. Only way he will do something is if I start doing it. I do not need your help now im doing it. He wont even cook for me or him self unless its bar-b-q. He dosnet like to brush his teeth bath or look decent and his attitude is negative. He never gos any where he doesnt like poeplo to come over. He couldnt get me one the phone so he left messsage afetr message telling me I must be a lesbian, but I was doing my friends hair. A close friend came by to show off her new grandbaby. The whole time he is calling my cell from our bedroom. Threating to leave me. Now when i go off and start yelling and throwing things, he seems to be fine. Please help me, please helpme. Is this all my fault. I feel like I have to fight for my freedom and my childrens. I asked him why did you get into a relationship if you do not wont to peticapate in life he just looks at me like im crazy. I cant tell him how I feel becouse he just gets angy at me and that makes me tired.He says that I make him feel like he cant do anything right. But I do everthing. Clean house, take care of my children, kepp the bills payed, take care of the cars. I do everything now like I did when I did not have a man. Am I wrong? I know the violance is rong. But, I get so angry, and I just remeber that I never asked you to move in you did it on your own and now my bills are being cut off becouse lies about what he makes. I never ahve gotten my bills turned off, when it was me and my kids. But he acts like all these things are fine. Ciggaret buts floating in the toilet, its 100 degress outside and he sits in a house with no aire on. He doesnt like women who talk loud,all my friends talk loud. He says he is a man, but when the police came with a warrent he ran and hid. He doesnt like to handel things just thinks it will go away then is suprised when it does not. Oh, yeah he asked me to marry him. Then after putting money on my wedding, I find out he is already married. I pulled up the information, showed it to him and he still lied to my face. His sister had to make him confess. All my friends where buying dresses my nephew was to marry us, now I look the fool and he acts like it at nothin.Thats when I strted losing it. Then my friends mom was dying he picked on me so much about my friend that I let it stop me from attending her moms last birthday party. That made me more angrer. I tried to help his mom (nursing home)he got mad and told me thats my mom, not yours. My mom died when I was 16. I tried to help with his dad, he had cancer. But he found something wrong with that to.He gets mad if what he wonts isnt here, he never remebers waht he says are how he says it. What do I do. I and my children have been hurt to long [Frown] .

With God all things are possable.

Posts: 2 | From: Texas | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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Hi Sassy,

This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship that you need to end immediately. It sounds like you're paying for housing, so you can tell him to move out.

Not only is this unhealthy for you and him, but being in a household where abuse is going on is very, very unhealthy for your children.

What you are doing is definitely wrong, and you should not be in relationships until you go through some counseling to get your anger under control. Do you have health insurance that would cover some counseling? If not, do you want to give us a zip code, and we can help find something low cost in your area.

Also, this guy doesn't sound like a good guy to me. He's clearly a fugitive from the police, and he lied about being married. Do you really want you children around someone who is hiding from the police? Do you even know what the warrant was about? If he's wanted for a violent crime, he is someone who absolutely should not be around your kids.

It also sounds like if you can't get him to leave, the police can come and arrest him. BUT the bottom line is that he has got to go, and you need to get into some counseling. Do you have someone who can look after your children while you take steps to get him out of the house and yourself into counseling?

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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As well, noticing your signature line, I want to point out that churches and other religious organizations and community centers also often have resources when it comes to counseling, help with interventions, the works. So, if you go to a church, your church community also may be another good place for you to ask for help.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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