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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » What you'd like to tell your abuser

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Author Topic: What you'd like to tell your abuser
cool87
Activist
Member # 29292

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Looking back at your past abuse or rape, is there anything that you'd like to say/voice to the person or people that have abused you ?

Is there anything you'd like to tell them, whether that is positive or negative, anything that you'd like them to hear ?

If that's the case, what would that be ?


[ 04-09-2009, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
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"Thank you for teaching me what kind of boys to not date*."


*with the optional insult inserted, depending on how I feel at any given moment

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bun Bun
Activist
Member # 37353

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Love is not seriously considering suicide if your partner wasn't around.

Love is not threatening to do so.

Love is not encouraging self destructive behaviours just so you don't feel alone with your problems.

I realize you didn't have the greatest relationship rolemodel with your parents, but we all make our decisions and choose how we grow DESPITE our circumstances. Your upbringing is no excuse to not respect me and my boundaries. You had no excuses, you had no right.

Sometimes I see you and get scared. Don't confuse that with weakness. You might see a scared little girl, but what I see is a woman who is strong enough to accept that she feels that way instead of bottling it up. I see a woman who will grow from those feelings, and flourish into the incredible human being that you will NEVER be.

I AM strong. I AM beautiful. You took nothing from me but 7 months. But 7 months is nothing but a minute fraction of my life.

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Shea
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"Thank you for making me decide a life of solitude is better than risking meeting another man like you."
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criminskeyes
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Thats a really positive paragraph Bun Bun [Smile]

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littlegirllost
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Member # 40973

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everytime i see your face im right back there. all the things you said i couldnt talk about to my friends. all the things you wanted me to stop doing. how everything was my fault. and how you didnt stop when i said it wasnt right. but what hurt the most was having you apologize so much and get so mad at my not forgiving. but what ik is that happiness is the best revenge, and i am not your victim.

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EndMyPain
Neophyte
Member # 43619

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I have experienced abuse of various kinds from two different people in my life, my father and an exboyfriend.

To My Father: Just because you are my father does not mean you own me. You do not own me so you do not get to control me. You do not have the right to yell at me. You do not have the right to threaten to harm me. You do not have the right to harm me.

Because of what you did, you lost some rights I would have gladly given you if only you had respected my rights as a human being. You lost the right to freely communicate with me. You lost the right to walk me down the aisle, no matter how far away that day may be. You lost the right to have alone time with my future children.

It does not matter that I talk to you sometimes or that I visit you. It does not matter that your behavior has completely changed. I will never again experience the bliss of being a child who is unaware of the horrors of this world and you will never again experience the bliss of having a daughter who completely trusts you and who is unafraid to be alone with you.

To My Exboyfriend: You said you loved me and at the time I believed you, but then I realized respect is a component of love so you must have been lying. I'm happier without you. I never have to be afraid that I'm going to wake up one morning and find out you killed yourself because I didn't answer a call or text from you while I was sleeping. I should never have had to be afraid of that in the first place. I know now that you were just bluffing. I broke up with you and that wasn't enough to kill yourself over, yet somehow you had previously managed to convince me that if I even once rejected you, then I would have effectively killed you by giving you a reason to kill yourself.

I see through your masks now. I know you are a liar. I know you never truly loved me. I know that you care far too much about yourself to commit suicide. I know that nothing was my fault, no matter how many times you told me it was. I know that I am strong enough to not let it happen again - with you or any other guy. I know and therefore, I am strong. You did not ruin my life, although you tried. I think about you sometimes, but everytime I do, it just reinforces my strength.

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Perfectly_clueless
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That it feels like me being miserable at different stages in my life , is a punishment for me not stopping it, yet you never got punished. That I live with what you did , not you , I feel guilt , not you.
And ultimately why?

But iv come to realise I'll never get these answers as my abuser is dead. And although that should offer me comfort it doesnt , because I'll never get to look him in the face and say these things to him , so your better not torturing yourself.

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