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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » RAPE, SEXUAL ABUSE OR BOTH

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Author Topic: RAPE, SEXUAL ABUSE OR BOTH
hockey_player_19
Neophyte
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[Edited: hockey_player, I had a few reports from both volunteers and other users that the graphic details in your post were deeply triggering to them, and we try to keep this as safe a space for everyone as possible. I don't intend to erase your experience, but I think enough volunteers have already read this thread to know and understand that you're asking for help with a very violent assault and that we can refer you to resources and provide help and support without those details. - Heather]

[ 05-30-2008, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Love-Life
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I'm so sorry that this happened, Hockey.

How long ago was this?

This is not something you should ignore and think that it's not a big deal.

What should you have done? There was nothing you could have done. You need to tell someone about this who can help you. I'll link you to an awesome article you can read.

Dealing With Rape

By him threatening you, it means that he knows that what he did was wrong. It also means that he is scared because he knows that what he did was a criminal offense.

Hopefully a volunteer will catch this and be able to do a bit more for you.

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There is an upside to everything, sometimes you just have to turn it upside down to find it.

:-) Vikki (-:

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hockey_player_19
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it was july 2007

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Love-Life
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Alright, so, have you read the article?

Sometimes it really helps to talk about things that happened in life. Is there anyone in your life that you feel comfortable talking to about this?

Feel free to keep posting here, we are here to help.

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There is an upside to everything, sometimes you just have to turn it upside down to find it.

:-) Vikki (-:

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Love-Life
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If you check out this link it has some numbers for you to call if you feel like you need to talk to someone over the phone. It is completely confidential, and if you chicken out, you can just hang up. They will be able to speak with you more about how you feel and stuff like that.

http://www.raap.org/what_to_do/index.html

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There is an upside to everything, sometimes you just have to turn it upside down to find it.

:-) Vikki (-:

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hockey_player_19
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I really can't talk to anyone about this. I will keep posting. Thanks Love-Life

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Love-Life
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What about calling someone? Do you think that you could call someone? They will give you more personal advice than we can give you on here.

How are you feeling about this right now? What do you want advice about? I'm sure that there is a lot going on in your life right now.

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There is an upside to everything, sometimes you just have to turn it upside down to find it.

:-) Vikki (-:

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hockey_player_19
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I can call someone but I don't want to. I don't know. The only person I had told was the school counsler and now i am embarrassed to even look at her let alone talk about it to her anymore. So i don't know what to do. So any advice is good advice. THANKS

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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hs123
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Hi,
I'm really sorry this happened to you, but a school counselor really is a good place to start. It's really hard to talk to people about it at first and not feel judged, but it does get easier.

I'd encourage you to try to talk to your counselor again, or ask her for some resources- she can surely refer you to some good places...

Also, the RAINN online hotline is a good place to go.

But really, in person help is the way to go. We can offer advice and such, but to work through this you need more really.

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hockey_player_19
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I can't talk to her like I said earlieri am embarrassed to even look at her let alone talk about it to her anymore. [/QUOTE]So what do I say to her? when school was over she said I have underling prolbems and that if i ever need to talk i could call her and talk to her, but i am really embarrassed. I don't know what to do!
SO PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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atm1
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You can tell her that the whole subject makes you really uncomfortable, and I'm sure she'll be pretty understanding. She can also refer you to other local resources so that you can get in touch with people who deal with this stuff day in and day out. Professional counselors deal with this all the time, and they will not judge you at all . They can listen to you and provide a lot more support than people here at Scarleteen can. You can also provide the staff (here, those of us who've replied so far aren't staff, but I'm sure they'll be on this thread soon) with a more precise location that you're in, and they can link you to local resources. RAINN will also be able to refer you, and they're great. Again, people who deal with this all the time are used to it and know how to respond to make you feel more comfortable.

Next to seeking out resources, the only advice I have about what to do is do what you feel like you need to do. If you need to take time to be upset and cry about it, do that. If you need to take some steps to prevent seeing this person in the future, do that. You can always let those around you that you're going through a tough time (and you can say that you don't want to talk about why), and that you need ___ from them.

Creating a safe space for yourself can really help. If you are genuinely afraid that he will hurt you, you can seek out protect from him, legally. A death threat is certainly reason enough for a restraining order. You can also tell people to not tell him, and that you're afraid of him (you don't have to tell them why if you don't want to).

Good luck dear, and you can always come back here.

Keep in mind that hotlines are completely anonymous, and because a lot of them are 1 800 numbers, they don't show up on a phone bill (so your parents won't know you called).

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Stephanie_1
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Hockey: A really great resource as mentioned above is RAINN. The have a 24 hour fully confidential rape crisis and support hotline.

RAINN

This would be a really great resource for you. They're very supportive and trained to help people through not only learning to cope with what's happened but also to find the best ways to help you begin healing. You'll be able to go at your pace and with what you're ready to say and do, and they'll really be able to point you in the right direction as to what steps will help you in the healing process from these events.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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hockey_player_19
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THANKS
Heather Can you Please Help Me?????

[ 05-31-2008, 12:58 AM: Message edited by: hockey_player_19 ]

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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-Lauren-
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Heather is a bit busy, but we'll be glad to leave her a notice to get back to you. Is there anything in particular you need her help with? Can one of us provide that assistance now?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You're asking for help, but you're going to have to let us know what you need help specifically with.

Do you need help calling the hotline? talking to the counselor? Did you want to talk about reporting your assault, or assuring your safety now, even though it's been some time since this assault? In order to help, we've got to know what you're feeling a need for right now, beyond what we've already offered.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hockey_player_19
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i need help talking to my counselor. And also when should i talk to her??

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Heather
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Well, you've seemed to be saying that she isn't really who you want to talk to about this. So, why not try the RAINN hotline or online counseling service first, where it is anonymous, and you can get a little more used to talking about this with someone?

That way, you can take some of the scary out of the equation, and decide if your counselor is still someone you want to talk to. It will likely feel easier to do that once you've talked to another counselor in a setting that feels less intimidating to you.

As far as when to talk to anyone, the when is simply when you need to. Sounds like it's now.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hockey_player_19
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online counseling????

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Heather
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Take a read in all of the answers we've already written to you here. You'll see two different folks referring you -- one with a link -- to RAINN, which has both phone and live online counseling.

I know it can be easy to get dizzy with all this, but it's really important when you ask for help that you actually read through the help we've offered, okay?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hockey_player_19
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ok but i have no clue which one is the online counseling one but i had figured it out........thanks alot... i have read throught it all week......so thanks.

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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Heather
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Here you go: http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge/

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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hockey_player_19
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I am scared to call the help line. is there anythign else i could do??? mabye just talk about it on here or something???

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

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atm1
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You can write here, but there's a limit to the amount of help people here can provide you with. If it helps to write things down and get them out, you can do that either here or simply in a journal.

One thing that might be good to talk about is why you're scared to call the help line. It's really not any different from talking to people here. Rainn also has an online help chat (that's what Heather was trying to link you to). go to http://www.rainn.org/ , click on "get help" and then "online hotline." On there, you can *chat* with someone online, so they won't hear your voice. That might feel more similar to typing here.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, can you please explain more of why you don't?

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