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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » I feel gross.

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Author Topic: I feel gross.
Member # 36572

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I was a sexually abused when I was a kid. I've gotten over it, but now, I feel really dirty because I was felt up by my last boyfriend [I got dumped; it hurt]. I'm not sure whether I'm being stupid or not, but I keep feeling really dirty, regretful and like a piece of meat to myself, even though we were dating. Am I being too insecure?

"There's no such thing as normal; there is only individuality."

Posts: 1 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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First things first: there's nothing stupid about any given way a person feels, you know?

Not knowing anything about the situation with your ex beyond what you've just written here, I can't know about even the dynamics of the way he touched you. For all I know, it was even just something in the dynamics that was off, or that was an abuse trigger for you.

As well, if you feel used because someone had some kind of sex with you and then dumped you flat, it's pretty normal to feel low when that happens. When you've survived rape or sexual abuse, that can add an extra sting because it can validate any feelings or suspicions you may have that your value as a person is only or primarily sexual, a feeling lots of abuse survivors are left with and have to work through.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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