Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Birth Control Sabotage

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Birth Control Sabotage
Member # 36477

Icon 1 posted      Profile for SafeWomenStories     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm writing to see if any young women on this list have experienced something called "birth control sabotage"--guys who poke holes in condoms, flush your pill packets down the toilet, or tell you that certain kinds of birth control are only for sluts.

I work with the Family Violence Prevention Fund, and we think this is an important problem for young women to start talking about. That's why I'm posting. If you have a story of your own experience that you'd like to share, you can email it to (We'll keep your name anonymous!)

It would also be interesting to start a conversation on this board about women's experiences with birth control coercion. It's such a common issue--particularly guys who refuse to wear condoms or who intimidate their girlfriends from making certain birth control choices--but it's something we rarely talk about.

Back in September, a groundbreaking study by Dr. Elizabeth Miller of the Center for Reducing Health Disparities revealed just how common the problem really is. Miller found that a quarter of teenage girls with histories of abusive relationships living in poor neighborhoods in Boston reported that their abusive partners actively tried to get them pregnant by manipulating condom use, sabotaging birth control, and making explicit statements about wanting them to become pregnant.

Troubling stuff. And something that needs to be more openly discussed—both in the women's health community and in the wider national arena.

Thanks for sharing your story, and for passing on the word!

Posts: 2 | From: New York | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
FYI, this has been okayed by Heather.

“I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36631

Icon 1 posted      Profile for efr0588     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have to say i have experianced this with an ex boyfriend. Instead of poking holes in a condom he would tell me that I wouldn't get pregnant if I would just trust him. Well the threw out the patch that I was on because he told me that it would interfear with the medicine that he was on at the time, if he rubbed his hand on it. Well bull ... if anyguy tells you something about the pill or patch that you just don't feel is right get rid of him before it is too late or you dig yourself in too deep!!
Posts: 2 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Member # 26647

Icon 1 posted      Profile for oOo Lea oOo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was. I was so proud when I met my boyfriend and after we started having sex he would ask me "Hey, did you take your birth control tonight?" or "I'm going to the market, do we need condoms or anything?"

I was also surprised when I asked him what he was going to the doctor for one morning and he said "I'm getting my annual screening, want to come along?" We ended up getting tested together. Even though I had had one recently, it was nice to know he was okay with this stuff, other wise.. I'd probably not be with him.. Actually, no probably about it. I wouldn't.

I think it's so . . Wrong? (for lack of a better word) that guys would do this. I bet those are the same guys that, if in fact a pregnancy (or STI- if condoms were thrown out of discussion) did occur, would run away and not want any part in this.

Although, I do know some pretty irresponsible teenage girls who do not take their birth control and say they do, or poke holes in condoms.

We definitely need to be on the look out for irresponsible partners like these.

And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3