I'm writing to see if any young women on this list have experienced something called "birth control sabotage"--guys who poke holes in condoms, flush your pill packets down the toilet, or tell you that certain kinds of birth control are only for sluts.
I work with the Family Violence Prevention Fund, and we think this is an important problem for young women to start talking about. That's why I'm posting. If you have a story of your own experience that you'd like to share, you can email it to firstname.lastname@example.org. (We'll keep your name anonymous!)
It would also be interesting to start a conversation on this board about women's experiences with birth control coercion. It's such a common issue--particularly guys who refuse to wear condoms or who intimidate their girlfriends from making certain birth control choices--but it's something we rarely talk about.
Back in September, a groundbreaking study by Dr. Elizabeth Miller of the Center for Reducing Health Disparities revealed just how common the problem really is. Miller found that a quarter of teenage girls with histories of abusive relationships living in poor neighborhoods in Boston reported that their abusive partners actively tried to get them pregnant by manipulating condom use, sabotaging birth control, and making explicit statements about wanting them to become pregnant.
Troubling stuff. And something that needs to be more openly discussed—both in the women's health community and in the wider national arena.
Thanks for sharing your story, and for passing on the word!
Posts: 2 | From: New York | Registered: Jan 2008
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I have to say i have experianced this with an ex boyfriend. Instead of poking holes in a condom he would tell me that I wouldn't get pregnant if I would just trust him. Well the threw out the patch that I was on because he told me that it would interfear with the medicine that he was on at the time, if he rubbed his hand on it. Well bull ... if anyguy tells you something about the pill or patch that you just don't feel is right get rid of him before it is too late or you dig yourself in too deep!!
Posts: 2 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Jan 2008
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I guess I didn't realize how lucky I was. I was so proud when I met my boyfriend and after we started having sex he would ask me "Hey, did you take your birth control tonight?" or "I'm going to the market, do we need condoms or anything?"
I was also surprised when I asked him what he was going to the doctor for one morning and he said "I'm getting my annual screening, want to come along?" We ended up getting tested together. Even though I had had one recently, it was nice to know he was okay with this stuff, other wise.. I'd probably not be with him.. Actually, no probably about it. I wouldn't.
I think it's so . . Wrong? (for lack of a better word) that guys would do this. I bet those are the same guys that, if in fact a pregnancy (or STI- if condoms were thrown out of discussion) did occur, would run away and not want any part in this.
Although, I do know some pretty irresponsible teenage girls who do not take their birth control and say they do, or poke holes in condoms.
We definitely need to be on the look out for irresponsible partners like these.
-------------------- And I say thank you for the scars And the guilt and the pain Every tear I've never cried Has sealed your fate. Did you take me for a fool or were you just too blind to see that every effort made has failed and there is no destroying me? Atreyu Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005
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