My theatre group is going to be putting on Hysteria, by Terry Johnson, and there's an age appropriate part for me. There are so few opportunities to be on stage here in this country that I just like to grab any chance that I get. The play is basically what happens when Salvador Dali meets Sigmund Freud, and I like the idea. I've never read the play, but it apparently has a really comic side to it. The role I would be auditioning sounds challenging...
Why am I saying all of this? Despite all of the above, which sounds great to me, the play has a much darker side to it... apparently the girl I would be playing is the daughter of a sexual abuse victim, if not one herself. She's desperate for Freud to help her, because her mother committed suicide despite years of treatment. Something I read said that "the play goes into descriptions, often graphic, of youthful sexual abuse."
I've gotten severe panic attacks from seeing rape scenes in movies, but reading about them I can tolerate. And being in character... well, that's not hard, it's not like I don't live with it every day. Maybe this would help me get in control of my emotions somewhat, but I'm worried that it might make me feel worse... and I don't know if I want to be reliving it and possibly having to cry on it on stage for a few weeks. Then again, saying it out in public, with no one to stop me, no one to tell me I'm crazy... it's not an unpleasant thought... And then I thought; I want to study theatre. Chances are, I may have to do something like this somewhere along the line. I guess I should be able to handle it...
In any case, I'm only auditioning, and even though there's a good chance I could get it (not that many girls my age in the theatre group it's not for sure, and I guess that what I could do is to let someone else audition first and let me watch, see if I can handle it. I haven't read the play in any case, I don't even know how explicit it is... I'll just arrive early at the audition.
I don't know. I don't know what to do. What do you think?
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