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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » help

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Author Topic: help
Member # 32543

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My boyfriend and i have been dating for 8 months now and we have had fights but hes the one who is doing all the yelling and hitting and im the one whos crying covered in bruises and stuff.
We have had these fights atleast 4-5 times in the past 8 months

these are some things he has done to me:
.dragg me across the ground by the hair
.slamm my head against the wall many of times
.slaps me across the face
.pushes me around
.and alot more

He always says that it is all my fault.He says that if i told any1 about it that he would make the whole situation worse.He always seems to apologize and promise it wont happen again even thoe it has.I start to feel worse about myself each time it happens. But the thing is that i love him and i know i do i just dont know what to do. We get along fine most of the time.i cant stand being away from him we live together and have been since the start do u think it might be because we spend too much time together?

I really need help plz! i hate feeling the way i do!

Posts: 31 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Honey, your partner is engaging in majorly abusive behaviour. It is not safe for you to be with him. Even if you had done something to provoke him, he has no right whatsoever to physically assault you. If he does not know how to deal with his anger responsibly and maturely, that is his issue and not yours.

And the fact that he apologizes afterwards? Part of the abusive dynamic. He knows that he needs to do that to keep you with him, but it won't stop him from attacking you again the next time he feels like it.

You should seriously consider getting away from him. You say you live with him - is there any way you could move out? Do you have any close friends or relatives you could temporarily move in with? I honestly urge you to find a way to get away from him. This relationship is not safe for you.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 19081

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I want to drop in my two cents having been in a similar situation, so I hope it helps. Sometimes the people we really do love are not good for us to be around, especially if that person is causing us harm and your boyfriend is. I understand that it is very hard to leave a situation like this one, but it is important that you do for your sake and his. If you stay with him he will continue to hurt you and it will be telling him that he is allowed to do that to you, and he isnt. You are important and noone is allowed to hurt you in such a way, whether it is someone you love or otherwise. I know it isnt easy but the best thing you can do for now is as september says is find a place to stay where you will be safe and where he wont be able to harm you.

As hard as it may feel right now to think about, once you leave it all gets easier from there.

Posts: 657 | From: NZ | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32543

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Thanx for the advice [Smile]


Posts: 31 | From: australia | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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