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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Sexually abused?

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Author Topic: Sexually abused?
Member # 34585

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My boyfriend darwin was jsut a friend, now he is my 1 year boyfriend. A year ago, at a party at darwins house, my first party. I was looking for my cellphone, it was in darwins room. I went into darwins room and was drunk. I layed down on the bed. I was too lazy and tired to move. A guy that used to ride my bus walked in. (name edited for personal safety). He was 2o something. 22? 24? not so sure. He closed the door. He was saying something to me. I dont know what he was saying. Then my favorite phrase "Do it" "just do it" I had no idea what i was telling him to do. i closed my eyes. I opened them, there is a 20 something year old man, (name edited for personal safety) on top of me, he is kissing me. Scratching my face with his stubble. Pressing me down. His fingers were inside me. I tried to push. But he is on top of me.My arms helplesly at my sides. And i cant move. I feel like i am paralyzed. i want it to stop. Someone opens the door.It was matts then friend mark. And Matt jumps away. I basically run out of the room, it feels like not even two seconds later darwin is talking to me asking whats going on. I told him "i was too horny i couldnt wait for you" What was i saying? I walked down his driveway trying to get away. I took out a razor and cut my self so deep my blood looked black. i couldnt even feel it. I bleed through a pair of boxers that were rolled over at least 5 times. I also bleed through a shirt. The next week, my scabs were black. To be continued . . .

[ 07-13-2007, 12:29 PM: Message edited by: JamsessionVT ]

Posts: 28 | From: MN | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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One year ago, you were 14 years old, according to your profile. Even if you had been totally sober, and even if you had said YES, full-stop, to this guy, we would have been looking at a rape because you were (and still are, in Minnesota, FYI) under the legal age to give consent TO sex.

But this isn't just a statutory rape issue: when a person is inebriated, and the person pursuing sex knows that (and it sounds like it'd have been impossible to miss -- a drunk 14-year-old usually is pretty obviously a drunk 14-year-old), and continues with sex anyway, it is rape, legally and practically. That is because a person whose judgement is impaired cannot give informed consent to sex.

It doesn't matter what you said to him, nor to your friend afterwards. What matters is that due to both your age and your state of mind, you were not in a position to consent to sex. What matters is that someone continued with sex you did not want, and you found yourself in a position of being unable to stop that sex.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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