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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » To him, I say?

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Author Topic: To him, I say?
Member # 34246

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Invisigoth     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This very well may be a gross betrayal of trust and the confidence in which I was told this. A friend of mine recently revealed unto me his Deep Dark Secret, which in the past has been alluded to but never explained explicitly.

When he was 9 to 11 years old (I assume the lack of specificity is due to the fact that for years he didn't remember it at all) he was alone with his brother who is three years younger, and an unnamed older boy, we'll call P for the sake of convenience.

The story goes like this: P had the boys play a "game" with him, the so-called game was called Dr. Sex, and involved first the younger boy performing oral sex on P, and then my friend on his brother.

When he remembered this, he was in high school, and it hit him like a "mother-******* boulder". He says he should have said something, considering himself smarter than his peers but yet not smart enough to know when he should have spoken up.

The question(s) being: What needs to be said, and in what way does one go about saying it?

Posts: 1 | From: Washington | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13388

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Invisigoth, I don't think you're betraying your friend at all; this IS an anonymous forum after all, and chances are he told you because he'd like help dealing with it. This is a difficult topic to approach (as you know), so I'll first ask some questions:

- How old was the older boy involved? Have they had any contact since then?
- Has your friend's brother ever said anything to him or his parents about it?
- Has your friend talked to anyone else about it?
- How does your friend feel about all this? Calling it his "Deep Dark Secret" says a lot, but does he embarassed/ashamed/confused/exploited/etc.? (From what you gather.)
- Did he say anything he'd like to do or not do about it? (Has be ever been to counseling, for example?)

You're a good friend to care and want to help, Invisigoth. [Smile]

Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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