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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Abusive mom?

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Author Topic: Abusive mom?
Member # 29608

Icon 11 posted      Profile for AB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi. I'm a little confused and stressed and needing some answers.... I don't really know where to start..
I'm 15 years old and I live with my dad. My parents are divorced, and my 13 year old sister lives with my mom. I see Kate(my sister) on the weekends, or whenever I decide to visit my mom. I don't really have a schedule for visiting my mom or anything. We've always had a pretty rocky relationship, and I honestly love my dad alot more than my mom and I do not want to live with her at all. Mom has always had anger issues, and I've always known that something was wrong growing up... Since I don't live with her anymore, I don't think much about her abusing me or anything. Well, I don't even know if she's ever abused me or if it counts as abuse.
She mostly takes out her anger verbally, and has only been violent a couple of times. One time, when I was 11, she beat me so bad I had bruises all over my legs and arms and back for weeks. That was worst she's ever been physically. I didn't really think anything of it back then, and my dad was gone for 4 months on a business trip, so I never ended up telling him.
My mom is pretty small. She's about 5'1, and she weighs about 90 lbs. I'm am alot bigger than her now, and I am not remotely afraid of her because I know if she ever attacked me again or something I could easily defend myself. And she knows that too.
It's my sister that I'm worried about. My mom only beat me up once, so I don't think it's a big deal.... She was worse to my older sister who is 23 right now. I have memories of mom chasing Heather(older sister) around the house with a butcher knife. Heather used to keep a hockey stick with the blade broken off by her door "just in case".
Mom has gotten better. She's not as violent anymore. I mean, she used to be really violent. Like, she hit my dad with her car. Uh, she wacked her boyfriend with a frying pan. Now she just throws things occasionally. Mostly she's just verbally abusive, which can be just as bad sometimes.
I keep trying to convince myself that she's gotten better and I keep trying to convince myself that she's not an abusive parent, this is normal, right? I haven't really thought about her much lately, until the other day when my sister came over and told me about how mom woke her up at 1:00 in the morning and slapped her across the face for no apparent reason.
Now I am extremely worried for my sister. Heather and me don't have to worry about mom anymore, but omg I'm so scared for Kate. But I don't want to get mom in trouble, I just don't know what to do. I'm sorry this whole post has been kind of gibberish, it's really late over here and I'm so bad at writing.
I'm just wondering... can anyone relate? I'm just confused and worried and all I want to do is protect my little sister.


"think outside the box, collapse the box, and take a f***ing sharp knife to it."
- banksy

Posts: 58 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5375

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What you're describing is abusive behavior. Living with your mom is not a safe environment by any stretch of the imagination.

Is there any way your sister can come live with your dad as well? Does he know what's happening to her?

I realize she is your mother but what she is doing is illegal and harmful. If there is no other way to get your sister out of that situation you or your father will need to call your local CPS.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32065

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Hey! im really sorry to hear about your situation hun... it sounds real bad. Your lucky you went with your dad. i think the person above is right. does your dad know? the first step would be telling him about what your mother did to kate and see if she can live with him as well. You have a right to be worried, as anyone would hun. Just talk to your dad and if that doesnt work, find a support group or talk to social services maybe in confidence. They wouldnt tell her that you told them anyway if you said not to. good luck xx
Posts: 25 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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