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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Abusive girlfriend ?

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Author Topic: Abusive girlfriend ?
Member # 29161

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My girlfriend gets extremely jealous when i talk about any other female of our age goup...

She dusn seem to understand that i need some time for myself too... n she expects that i'll talk to her for hours every time she calls me even if i'm outdoor

she lies to me and hides things again n again...

her characterless friends are easily successful in persuading her to flirt with other guys around
when they're in a party or a mall

but when i come to know about these things... n when i ask her... she cries too much n i'm forced to forgive her even though it frustrates me to death

is it an abusive relationship ?

Posts: 26 | From: World | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29161

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how should i deal with it ? i want her to come on the right track...
Posts: 26 | From: World | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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From what you've said here, it doesn't sound like this is an abusive relationship per se, but one where you both have some issues with jealousy, among other things.

Her getting jealous when you talk about other girls is not really different from you getting jealous when you think she's flirting with other guys.

So how about having a discussion about it and agreeing what the boundaries of your relationship are?

That may mean accepting that both of you will have platonic interactions with other people of the same sex, and agreeing on what sort of "flirtation" isn't okay for either of you.

Same with other issues: you may want to explain that you need time to yourself and aren't always available to talk for hours.

Equally, she may need some privacy in her life too, especially if she's feeling she has to "hide" things from you. It does seem like you're very concerned with whatever she's doing when she's not around you, and that you don't trust her or her friends.

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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