From what you've said here, it doesn't sound like this is an abusive relationship per se, but one where you both have some issues with jealousy, among other things.
Her getting jealous when you talk about other girls is not really different from you getting jealous when you think she's flirting with other guys.
So how about having a discussion about it and agreeing what the boundaries of your relationship are?
That may mean accepting that both of you will have platonic interactions with other people of the same sex, and agreeing on what sort of "flirtation" isn't okay for either of you.
Same with other issues: you may want to explain that you need time to yourself and aren't always available to talk for hours.
Equally, she may need some privacy in her life too, especially if she's feeling she has to "hide" things from you. It does seem like you're very concerned with whatever she's doing when she's not around you, and that you don't trust her or her friends.
-------------------- "Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002
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