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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Is this abuse?

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Author Topic: Is this abuse?
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am posting this here because I think this is where it belongs.

I had a little bit of an attitude at the dinner table today. My baked potato was burnt - and I had a bad day. My attitude was completely uneccessary.
I slammed the microwave door because I was annoyed, and my stepfather says to me "If you break anything in this house, I'll break you."

That was it. I flipped out [on the inside]. I went in my room starting hysterically crying and just screamed at the top of my lungs. I am SO ANGRY WITH MY HOME LIFE.

So, after much crying, I walk into my mom's room and tell her I how I was very hurt that she could just let him say that to me and yell at me [and when I say yell, I don't mean just slightly raising his voice I mean YELLING]. She said "they are just words". She said she thought it was wrong but said it was all my fault because I am brat. I provoke his anger.

So, my mom was saying he didn't mean "I will break you" in a violent way, so she decides to go to the living room where he is and ask him. I could not believe how RIDICULOUS that was. I was sitting in my mom's bathroom. He gets up, says I'm an "effing" crybaby, says I should go live with my father, and they are moving out of the house this weekend. He slammed the bathroom door. All I did was cry.

And of course, what did my mom do? "Oh, stop, just stop saying that to her". He said he was leaving so she chases after him but he just goes.

He was gone a good hour or so and I was talking with my mom and I told her how horrible I feel at home, how lonely I am in this house, and how I think she doesn't care about me. To make a long story short, he comes home. He bursts open the door and says "EITHER SHE GETS OUT OR I LEAVE, YOU CHOOSE".

I'll stop there. It just turned into more arguing.

Is this abuse? I am not innocent, I do provoke his anger I guess. I just need an outside opinion. I already know I have a mouth on me, I know it's not right. I'm beating myself up over it and have been for the past 4 hours.

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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Wow.. this seriously sounds a lot like the stuff I had to deal with. Really hits home, I know how it is. His behavior is very abusive and inacceptable, especially as I go back and look at your previous thread about him.

Is there any outside source you can talk to about what's going on? A counselor, teacher, couch, anyone? You need help, both for yourself and your mom. If he treats you in such a manner, I can't imagine how he must treat his wife; "kings of the house" tend to view them more as property.

Definately get into touch with a counselor; if they see something needs to be done, they can help you report the situation to the proper authorities.

Such intense outlashes are not appropriate or earned, regardless of how much "lip" you give someone. A healthy adult should know how to control their anger, and not be so quick as to interpret every "unruly" action or word as direct defiance.

[ 12-06-2006, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27756

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I had to go through a lot of that stuff too, if I'd have a little attitude my parents would scream and [threaten] to hurt me, though they never really did. I always wondered if it was abuse [they said my bad attitude was 'abusive' though], I still wonder..

I hope you can find the answers you're looking for. You definitely don't deserve to live in a home life like that. It's just unpleasant. Take care and good luck

Posts: 7 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33078

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Wow. You seem to have a serious problem there. I would definatly see a school councler asap about this, and if it starts getting really extream or bad, see if you can sleep over at a friends house for a night or two. Just avoid him. He is really bad news.

"Fear is the mind-killer"
-Don't be afraid.

Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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