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Author Topic: abusive realanships
Dizzydes
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well my boyfriend Josh he has a job and a apartment. we have been together for about 3 close to 4 months. he is nice and fun, but when i am around my friends he will call me and cuirse at me and ask if theres guys then he says i shouldn't chill wt guys. so i will come home call him and he will come over. anyway he hit me alot. all the times he got pissed off and hit me is if its something about my friends. the time that got out of control is when he hit me infront on my friend Tracy and Tracy hit Josh and they got into a fight finally it got broken up, and me and Josh left and went to his house and he hit me wt a lamp knocked me out and started punching me then his brother walked in and got Josh off of me. so any person would'ev left him but i love him so much and i don't want to give up on him and i know he loves me he just has a problem. but that was the last hitting incident which was about a week ago no close to a week ago, i mean hes pushed me and like u know slapped me but that was the last severe incident. i don't know what to do cuz i love him so much.
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Heather
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There's no such thing as nice + abuse.

He isn't nice. He is an abuser. Nice people don't abuse others.

He doesn't "just have a problem." He has a pattern of behaviour that will not stop unless a) he no longer has a person to put it on and b) seeks out help and spends a long time pursuing it.

This is only going to stop if you stop it by leaving.

And this, combined with your other post makes me even more concerned for you.

Again, I would encourage you, now even more, to talk to a teacher, guidance clounselor or social services to get some help ASAP.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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u read my other post about cutting? anyway iam kind of new so i don't know how to check that stuff. i did try to leave once and he chased me down my street and he lives in the KC area and i didn't know my way around since i was at his house so i just gave up and i stopped running and he grabbed me and held me tight then we went back to his house and he said he loves me and he don't want to let him go iam all he has. i mean everyone has flaws its just means he has a big flaw. and i mean alot of my friends say hit back well i tried that and i mean hes not fat but he is very muscular, well u know not like body builder but like..... fity cent. anyway i don't know why i got off the subject but sorry, its like my heart wants to stay wt him but my feet just won't move. God i don't know why i would love after what he does but i do love him soooooooooo much. he is caring and everything has a little flaw. but i do got a question about sex, well i had alot of sex wt girls but Josh was my first wt a guy, and hes quiet big and when we had sex the first time i bled alot and he helped me clean my sheets and everything, but now we have it like 2 times a day but everytime we do it feels good but when we r done i hurt real bad. whats wrong wt me? and i just i don't know what i do wt Josh

[ 11-30-2006, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: Dizzydes ]

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Heather
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No.

Abuse is not just a big flaw.

if it is, it's a flaw that literally kills tens of thousands of women every year, at the hands of their partners. It's a flaw like lung cancer, save that it hurts you, not him.

Hitting back isn't the sound response: getting out is the only one.

I am not comfortable answering sex advice questions about sex with an abuser, because it is endangering you to suggest you do anything but leave. However, if you are having pain during intercourse, you need to also get into your doctor or gynecologists office, on top of getting away from this guy.

If you suspect he will not allow you that again, then the only thing to do is report him to the police.

You say you don't know what you'd do without him, but with him doesn't seem to do much either, save getting you hurt. if I told you I just didn't know what I'd do if I couldn't get hit by a car once a week, you'd think I was nuts.

You can do a lot without him. Like, be safe.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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well sorry didn't get back to u sooner but yea that was Josh. He just asked me to live wt him, and yea iam going to say no at least untill hes better. ppl say once abuser always a abuser. i really don't see a big problem wt it cuz u know for 12 years i was getting abused by my mom and i guess wt Josh hitting me i just learned to deal wt it. i don't know iam so confused about things right now. and trust and beleive i know he cares cuz for instince one time he was spending the night and i had a flashback and so i got out of bed and got my blade and started cutting and i don't know how Josh knew i wasn't in bed but he got up and u know grabbed the blade from me and then i started holding me while i cried, i know theres a softer side of him. i was just wondering is there any like groups he could go to or like i don't know maybe therpy. i really don't want to lose him cuz wt out Josh iam nothing, i mean really iam nothing wt him but at least i no iam wt someone that cares. u know when u said i need to leave him its just harder to do then u think, and plus i talked to him about maybe just taking a break but he said he will kill himself and i mean hes tried in his past, and i just don't know what to do i mean if he kills himself if i leave i just don't know what i would do. i know this might seem all pathetice but i guess iam pathetic.
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Heather
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Because you're used to abuse doesn't make it any more okay.

Unfortunately, those of us who grew up being abused were socalized to become accustomed to it, which actually makes us bigger marks for abusive people: some part of them can see that we'll put up with it.

Whether he cares or not really doesn't matter: if he does you harm, he isn't safe to be around or close to.

You're not nothing without an abuser: in fact, when we're around abusers, we feel like we're less than we are. When we crawl out of those patterns, and fill our lives with people who care for us, it's often pretty amazing to realize how much worse off we were than we even knew. I know it's hard to sever abusive relationships: that's why there are so many people stuck in them, and a lot of that has to do with how the cycle of abuse works. if abusers weren't nice some of the time, the people they keep around to abuse would never stay around.

They also often threaten self-harm to keep the people they abuse around: that's very common amoung most abusers. Actually harming themselves, however, is not. They are almost always empty threats used to manipulate.

There absolutely are places to get help. Like I said, you can ask your school guidance counselor to point you to resources. Or, if you let me in on your zip code, I can do some searching for you.

I'm very glad you said no to living with him: even staying away from that is a big step.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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yea i never thought of it that way befor. and well see i don't know if hes just saying he will kill himself i think he might do it, because when i finally hit my mom back and left on the run to my friends house the next day i got the call from my grandpa saying i gotta meet him at my moms house and there is where i found out that she was dead. and yea i don't know if he really self-harmed cuz i didn't see any scars and i don't know. yea i do notice that when iam not around him i feel alot better not so tense but then when he is not pissed off or hitting me i feel somewhat happy but kind of tense. and i would also like to talk about my addiction which is self harm i just feel like it is not going to get better! i will quit for awhile then get back into it and it is a good coping skill cuz it realeives alot of stress but its also bad i guess cuz it leaves scars on my arms, but that is the only bad i see from it. Kind like i really don't think its a huge deal that Josh is hitting me except for i get bruises and black eyes and stuff like that. i dunno really what to think anymore
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Heather
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Let's get you some counseling.

I;ve asked about it three times now: is there a teacher or guidance counselor at school you feel comfortable going to about these things so they can help set you up with some help?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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um no i go to a school where there is only one teacher in the whole building and there is about 7 people. so like i said i have no one to talk to. its like i know need the help, see i look at like me myself have dug myself a big whole and the whole is like 50 feet deep and there is no possible way that i can get out off that whole by myself unless i got help. but there is one thing that helps me is i make raps just about life and stuff but i also got beats to go wt the raps. so i guess the rapping will have to do untill i figure out what to do.
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-Lauren-
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Would you be willing to provide us with a zipcode so that we can search for resources in your area?
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Heather
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is this an actual school? Even alternative schools have some form of administration.

You gotta help me out here to help you, Dizzy. You asked if you could get some therapy, and I'm glad to help you find ways to get that, but without having a real idea of what your resources are, or where you're located, I can't do much.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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well yea i know i just don't want, okay well i do want help for my cutting but the Josh think i will handle myself. yes the school is in KC and yea there is a counsolor like 15 min away and i don't even know her name. and i got another question u won't send any information to like my house will u? my zip code is 64052
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Heather
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Sugar, you can't handle an abuser yourself. If you could, you wouldn't be where you are with it, eh?

We'll never share or send anyone's information here, no worries.

If you know there is a counselor nearby, then that is someone to call and find out about.

Here are some other nearby resources:

The Lighthouse
Contact: Jenn Freitag
University of Central Missouri
415 S. Holden St.
Warrensburg, MO 64093
660-543-8084

Survival (for relationship violence)
[url=http://www.iland.net/~survival/
]http://www.iland.net/~survival/[/url]
137 E. Culton
P.O. Box 344
Warrensburg, MO 64093
660-429-1088

Jackson County Victim Services Program
Contact: Megan Carter
Jackson County Courthouse
415 E. 12th, 11th Floor
Kansas City, MO 64106
816-881-3555 (Office)
816-881-3843 (Fax)
Services: legal/court advocacy, information and referrals, crime victim compensation
Counties Serving: Jackson County

Hope House
Contacts: Susan Else or Mary Ann Metheny
P.O. Box 520409
Independence, MO 64052
816-461-4188 (Office)
800-995-1000 (Hotline)
816-461-8429 (Fax)
Services: shelter, crisis intervention, legal/court advocacy, counseling, support groups, children's services, transitional housing, outreach office, speakers bureau, life skills program
Counties Serving: Eastern Jackson County

Newhouse
Contacts: Leslie Caplan or Nancy Brown
P.O. Box 240019
Kansas City, MO 64124
816-231-7378 (Office)
816-231-1909 (Fax)
816-241-0311 (Hotline)
Shelter Phones:
816-843-6140 (Office)
816-483-2920 (Fax)
Services: shelter, legal/court advocacy, counseling, children's services, substance abuse programs, support group, child care, outreach office, transitional housing
Counties Serving: Jackson County

Rose Brooks Center
Susan Miller
Lisa Fleming
P.O. Box 10453
Kansas City, MO 64171-0453
816-523-5550 (Office)
816-523-8177 (Fax)
816-995-1000 (Hotline)
Services: shelter, crisis intervention, legal advocacy, support groups, counseling for women and children, day care, outreach office
Counties Serving: Jackson County

Safehaven
Contacts: Jan Kauk or Cathy Asher
230 N.E. Evansdale Road
Kansas City, MO 64116-2623
816-454-3581 (Adm./Main)
816-453-3233 (Fax)
816-995-1000 (Hotline)
816-458-7200 (Outreach)
Services: shelter, crisis intervention, legal advocacy, support groups, counseling for women, children and men, transitional housing, community and professional education
Counties Serving: Clay, Platte, Ray, Caldwell, Carroll, Clinton and Lafayette Counties

Heart of America Indian Center
Justin Orr, Executive Director
1340 East Admiral Blvd.
Kansas City, MO 64106
Phone: 816-421-7608
Fax: 816-421-6493
E-mail: haicindian@aol.com
[url=members.aol.com
/indianbrav/haic.html]members.aol.com
/indianbrav/haic.html[/url]
A multipurpose Native American agency. 3 primary programs: emergency assistance (clothing, shelter, food, tec. and referral to other agencies); alcoholism (non-medical counseling, detox, outpatient services, etc); and youth (legal - courts; social - summer youth program).

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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thanks. i don't mean to sound dumb but which ones r for the cutting? and which ones r for Josh or me?
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Heather
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Speaing the one listed as exclusively for relationship violence, you could call any of those for help with both issues.

These are for you. Your partner could also call them, but that is HIS call to make. You can't do it for him, nor can you do his work right now. You need to get YOU out and worry about you.

Suffice it to say, if he's really interested in getting ehlp, he could also post here, too. But right now, his stuff is his stuff: yours is what comes first.

(And since self-mutilation is very common among abuse victims and survivors, even the one expressly for abuse could likely also help with the cutting. Flatly, even just getting out of the abusive relationship alone will probably help with the cutting.)

[ 11-30-2006, 11:22 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Dizzydes
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okay thanks
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Est. In 1984
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Dizzy I've read all of your post and do know where u are coming 4rm. He WILL NOT change! Abuse is a learned behavior and unless he is ready and WILLING to change he WONT. It truly makes me so SAD to read that you feel you cant live w/o him...YOU CAN! U remind me of me, A LOT!
He's all you know and probably feel lost w/o him but the truth is he doesnt truly love you. He likes the fact that he can control you. Would you EVER do what he does to u 2 one of your best friends? The fact that he does it in front of people makes his abuse that much worse. He doesnt care who he hurts you in front of or who knows. I was in a relationship for 5 yrs...4 1/2 were abusive (PHYSICAL). You name it he did it. I thought he could change 4 me becuz he loved me...WRONG! I stuck around for 1 blow 2 many. Ppl like them need "outside" help, they CANT do it on thier own. I have not seen my ex in 1 MONTH...Hurray! I started seeing a thrapist becuz I felt like I was going to go crazy w/o him. I was willing to put up w/ the abuse as long as he was there. CRAZY! As impossible as u think it is you CAN move on. I PROMISE! You desrve the world...& if u cant find a guy that can give it to u, u a least deserve a guy that will NEVER stop try'n. PLEASE PLEASE get help he wont stop. You've become emotionally attached. You're in love w/ the part of him that you want him to be all the time...HE WONT be that...EVER. NOT with you. You already let him cross that line and he knows he could get away w/ it. He is a manipulator. My bf use to threaten to kill himself 2 if I ever left. He use to punch himself in the chest and would cry...making me feel sorry 4 him. They know exactly what 2 do 2 make u feel sorry 4 them or feel like its ur fault. It's "NEVER" ur fault. If U truly luv him as u say u do...next time call the cops. If not 4 u 4 him. They will force him to take anger management classes. This is not a flaw and he does know what he is doing when he does it. PLEASE seek help 4 urself as well sometimes it takes a stranger to help us realize what we R truly worth. You came into this world not knowing he existed what makes U think you can go on? Once you find that person that treats u like the Princess you are, you will realize that this what you feel is infact NOT love. Your NOT alone and your not the 1st person this happens 2. Be smart and leave with ur LIFE. Ur special.

--------------------
"I've touched Ur soul & left my mark in ur heart....There's no forgetting me, dont bother trying."...(ME)

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BiLLaBaBy017
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I know it's been awhile since I've been on here, but I thought I would put my 2 cents in. I'm in an abusive marriage and I'm 20 years old. I used to be a cutter. This guy needs to get help. Get into some counseling. My husband used to beat me all the time, wheneer I would push his buttons he would put his hands on me. He was always accusing me of cheating on him, or hiding things from him. No man should EVER put his hands on a woman, not for ANY reason. PERIOD. A friend of mine always tells me "A man will never hit a woman, but a pussy will." I know that's not good advice to give but she always tells me that, and I think that statement is true. No matter how angry your boyfriend gets, the best thing to do is for him to just walk away. Cool off, watch TV, do something for him to cool off. Then come back to the situation later and talk about what went wrong. You can always walk away as well, if things get heated just walk away.
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Heather
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(Ashley? You've got me concerned...you didn't go back to this guy, did you?)

And hey: can we please not champion the use of derogatory terms here like a name for women's genitals to mean not strong, or to make clear that feminizing men or femininity period is an insult?

How about trying to find a better word for your friends adage that doesn't put down men and women alike?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Est. In 1984
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I was going to ask you the same question. Are you still with him?

--------------------
"I've touched Ur soul & left my mark in ur heart....There's no forgetting me, dont bother trying."...(ME)

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Heather
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Mishell: Ashley had -- after a very long sturggle to do so and some absolutely terrifying incidents, including her husband torturing her pets -- gotten out and filed for divorce last we knew.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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BiLLaBaBy017
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I apologize Heather for the insult. I by no means meant to offend. Everything else I said still sands though. I'm leaving on the 15th to go back to Minnesota for a few months. I have to come back to Tennessee in March for my husband's hearing (he beat me on November 4th and he was placed in jail). The hearing in March will determine if he still has his Army career and if he's guilty or not guilty. My family will be helping me out (including my dad who has just now decided to be back in my life.) So yea that's my update for you Heather. I slowly realized this was the right thing to do. zit's going to be hard but I know I'm a strong individual, I can get through this.
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Heather
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Phew!

You had me scared for a minute there.

Hang in there, gal.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Est. In 1984
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Oh... I"m so happy for you! It will be hard but you wont be put threw the abuse n-e more and that should make ur healing process easier. I trully hope that the girl (Dizzydes) who origionally posted this entry has gotten help.

--------------------
"I've touched Ur soul & left my mark in ur heart....There's no forgetting me, dont bother trying."...(ME)

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Est. In 1984
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Oh... I"m so happy for you! It will be hard but you wont be put threw the abuse n-e more and that should make ur healing process easier. I trully hope that the girl (Dizzydes) who origionally posted this entry has gotten help. Unbelieveable hope many abuseive men (I'm sure women too) are out there. GoODness what makes them think they have that right?@

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"I've touched Ur soul & left my mark in ur heart....There's no forgetting me, dont bother trying."...(ME)

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