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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » In love with a Jerk

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Author Topic: In love with a Jerk
Sedi Tlugvi
Member # 21797

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Arg, this rather difficult to explain. I've been dating my boyfriend for roughly 9-10 months, and I do love him. The problem is, he can be one of the most hateful people I've ever come across. Especially to my friends who he teases and harasses like there is no tomorrow. Very recently my best friend, who he isn't fond of at all, began sitting with us at lunch. I can honestly say that he brings her self estime far down when he ridicules her.
Today we got into a fight at lunch, he and I, over said way he treats my friends. He basically told me that he would treat them anyway he chooses, which pissed me off a great deal. I told him that he had better stop his s**t because I was on the verge of breaking up with him. More or less he told me to eff off, which pissed me off even more that he didn't even care.
Now he's giving me the silent treatment, probably contemplating breaking up with me.
I know I've probably portrayed him badly here, but the fact is, he can be a really sweet individual. It's always seemed the positives outweigh the negatives. But now I'm honestly frightened that I may lose him (bad habits and all =P).
Advice? Thanks =)

Posts: 75 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Being verbally abusive is...well, abuse. Not a "bad habit."

So in short? I'd stop making threats about it and dump this guy. You're hard pressed to find anyone without SOME good qualities, but that doesn't mean you need to be with a jerk just because they can be nice sometimes.

And moreover? At this rate, this guy is likely all you'll be left WITH in your life, given his treatment of everyone else close to you. Not a pretty scenario, especially since abusive people tend not to discriminate: what starts with your friends will move to you. In fact, it sounds like you see shades of it already.

Get out, babe.

Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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