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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Ex: Boyfriend problems

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Author Topic: Ex: Boyfriend problems
EversBoo15
Activist
Member # 15917

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I just don't know what to do. Ever since Ever..lol found out that I was pregnant...he hasn't got off my back. He gives me Stuff and I am thankful for the stuff he gives me...but then Today I got found this note on the ground with him and this other boy talking to each other...And he put that he would do anything to take back that bet and that "stuff" he did to me. He loves me and he knows it his kid..and he wants to be with me and my kid...I was wondering I know he done wrong to me and Ill never forget what he done to me...But I need help with my baby ..and he wants to help me...should I since his kid too?????? I feel wrong if I left him out …Not be with him, with him but just so he can help me…he wants to…What should I do????

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Puerto Rican O.o o.O always spaced out 0.o o.0 Puerto Rican Donde esta corazon??


Posts: 116 | From: Va,Usa | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Have you not yet talked to a counselor or rape support person as I know several of us have suggested to you umpteen times?
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/004575.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000644.html

If not, please do. Again, a person in that arena is far better qualified to help you with this sort of scenario. They can also hook you up with viable support in terms of the help you might need for a child, and are a better choice for that than a rapist is.

Flatly, I wouldn't advise ANYONE let someone who has ANY history of forcible sexual assault or domestic violence be involved with children in anything other than a supervised and safe setting and only AFTER reports have been made on that assault, the whole works, to assure your safety and that of your child. It concerns me that this doesn't concern you, that you are taking gifts from him, and that, apparently, you have not filed a report or taken any recourse with this. It also concerns me that if you did finally get a verified positive test result, your doctor did not also hook you up with these services if you have been honest about what occurred.

No one can say whether or not this person loves you. However, even if he does, love is not a cure for abusive and violent behaviour. All the love in the world can't just make that go away, and it tends to repeat itself.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
EversBoo15
Activist
Member # 15917

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I have been to a Counselor. It did help me...Thats why I'm not with him. It's just so hard to believe that he would do that to me. He so caring and sweet. I do have support but, One of my cousins know whats its like not to know her real dad and it hurts her sooo...much. I don't want the same thing to happen to my child...Thats all . My support is my mom and dad, but I thought maybe its ok if my child saw his dad thats all...But I guess it's not a good idea or I'll sleep on it...Just so confused.

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Puerto Rican O.o o.O always spaced out 0.o o.0 Puerto Rican

Donde esta corazon??

[This message has been edited by EversBoo15 (edited 03-08-2004).]


Posts: 116 | From: Va,Usa | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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Are you still seeing the counselor? Everything you've mentioned in your post is something that person could help you with.

Really though, this isn't something that you can sleep on; it's something you're going to have to act on, as suggested in your previous posts.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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quote:
One of my cousins know whats its like not to know her real dad and it hurts her sooo

And there are an awful lot of people out there who've been very badly hurt indeed by contact with a "real dad" who's physically or sexually abusive - either by being abused themselves, or by seeing their mom get abused all over again.

As a parent-to-be, you're responsible for protecting your child. Which also means protecting yourself. And no child "needs" contact with a violent rapist.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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