Have you not yet talked to a counselor or rape support person as I know several of us have suggested to you umpteen times?
If not, please do. Again, a person in that arena is far better qualified to help you with this sort of scenario. They can also hook you up with viable support in terms of the help you might need for a child, and are a better choice for that than a rapist is.
Flatly, I wouldn't advise ANYONE let someone who has ANY history of forcible sexual assault or domestic violence be involved with children in anything other than a supervised and safe setting and only AFTER reports have been made on that assault, the whole works, to assure your safety and that of your child. It concerns me that this doesn't concern you, that you are taking gifts from him, and that, apparently, you have not filed a report or taken any recourse with this. It also concerns me that if you did finally get a verified positive test result, your doctor did not also hook you up with these services if you have been honest about what occurred.
No one can say whether or not this person loves you. However, even if he does, love is not a cure for abusive and violent behaviour. All the love in the world can't just make that go away, and it tends to repeat itself.
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen
My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson