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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » I just dont know what to do anymore...

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Author Topic: I just dont know what to do anymore...
Member # 13788

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I just dont know what to do anymore. I had posted a little while ago about how i admitted to my boyfriend that i had cheated on him. We decided to work through it and stuff, i mean really start over, and everything is so much better then before, but he sometimes gets into these moods out of nowhere, like night and day. We'll be having a great time and then something will set him off and then forget it, he tells me how much i messed up the relationship. How everything is my fault. He really puts me down. Now i know what i have done is wrong, and i cant erase what has happened. All i can do is learn from it. But in order to get over this i have to put it in the past, which is something my boyfriend cant do. I cant imagine what position i have put him through. But he thinks i got off easy. But all i do is feel bad. And sometimes its hard to bare that i turned him into this completely torn person. I manage to battle through all this verbal abuse because i figure i do deserve it after what i have done. But when is enough enough. I hate verbal abuse, i feel its the worse kind. And he gets like this once in a blue moon. And the things he say are killingme. I want to make our relationship better but i dont know what to do anymore. We really need some counsiling, but who would do that for us unless we were married or what not. Any suggestions. I really want to make this work. I feel like its out of my hands. I give him all the support i can give and im there no matter what he says. But i feel like this one is out of my hands.
Posts: 26 | From: Miami, FL USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Relationship counseling is not just for married people...most counselors who deal with couples are perfectly happy to counsel unmarried couples.

If you are in a situation where you are being verbally abused, and you and you partner cannot or do not wish to get counseling, then its time to think about leaving the relationship. Sweetie, what you have to recognize here is that no matter how much you want to make it work again, it really just may not work again. Like it or not, your partner just may not be able to move past this. It's entirely possible that you just may not be able to make the relationship "better" at this point. But regardless, clearly the situation cannot continue the way it is because it's just not healthy for either of you. Try some real counseling, but keep in mind the fact that what you may find is that this is just not something that can be "fixed". And that's neither your fault nor his...sometimes that's just something that happens in relationships. And if this is not something you can both move past, then you need to be fair to each other and decide whether or not its really a good idea to be in a relationship together at this point.

Sarah Liz
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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