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Author Topic: Terrible...juss Terrible..need answers
EversBoo15
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Member # 15917

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Hi,

I am in terrible terrible pain...physically, mentally, and emotionally…. still after 7 days it happened. I think I'm losing my mind…but this is how it happened last Saturday.Ever and me were at my house home alone. Well when he came we started to watch a movie…as we cuddled he started to kiss me and stuff I was fine with that but then he started to lift my skirt. I told him I wasn’t in the mood…he said your never in the mood anymore…I told him cause of the last 2 time we did it something happened to my arousal...I'm still not sure what happened to it but it wasn’t there…and I told him that at first he was like ok and he stopped but five minutes later… he started up again… it started to really really really bother me so I got up and sat some where else or at least tried too.

He grabbed me and said plz I want to really bad. Mentally I wanted to too but …but not physically. It was weird to me. So I said I guess going with my mind and not my body. So we started to kiss and fondle or what I like to call touchy feely. (Lol) We started to take off our clothes but I didn’t all the way. (Leaving on my skirt, panties, and bra) I said no can’t do it. Well the he grabbed me again and started to touch me and he said why It might be good for US that word US how is it going to be good for US if I didn’t want it??? Well then he grabbed me and laid me on the long couch where we were sitting. And took off my panties lifted up my skirt and forced it in me…with out protection and I tried hitting him and telling him to stop but it was like hitting and talking to a brick wall…he juss wouldn’t stop…Then he did stop and literally put me in a different position so I couldn’t hit him. It hurt so bad I started to bleed…a lot … and I cried cried cried while he did it and I even screamed so my neighbors could here but it didn’t help not one little bit. And he kept on going and I got to hit him once in the position I was in…
Then this is when it really started to happen. He covered my mouth and told me to shut the F*** up…and bit his hand so he let go… I got one of my hands free so I tried to hit him again but I couldn’t. He grabbed my hand and kept going … and I yelled and screamed some more but the more I screamed the harder he put it in me. So I stopped screaming. Then I stopped feeling it all together. He came twice while he was in me.

After he was done…I hate the way that sounds…He told me he loved me, he was sorry he had to do it, kissed me and left…so about five minutes later. Got up ran to my bathroom and took a bath. I got all the dirt and blood off but I was still dirty inside. So I after I washed I tried to get the bloodstain off the couch but. I couldn’t…so I cried for like 3 hours off and on. And the next day I took a pregnancy test…It said I was pregnant…so I took like ten more from the day after it happen and now and 2 said I wasn’t but the other ones said I was…so I am spaced out about that and …he kept calling me and say I'm sorry and why he did it and all this stuff…and for some reasons I don’t want to let him go… we have been going out since 4th or 5th grade and that was like 7 or 6 years ago he have been off and on… and there no signs he hasn’t cheated…and I love him. I thing that’s why I don’t want and can’t let him go…but after what happened I juss don’t know…and I was wondering about it…

1. 2 out of 10 pregnancy test that means I'm pregnant right???
2. I need to hear about other people that have been raped by their b/f comments.
3. Should I let him go after all those years I have been with him???
4. What should I tell my parents about it???

P.S…. I went to gyn and she said I wasn’t pregnant. But 2 out of 10…and she also told me that I have bladder infection and my vagina walls are damaged...sry for the long post...You guys and girls are so understanding so I told yall...only EversBoo(16)

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Puerto Rican O.o o.O always spaced out 0.o o.0 Puerto Rican

Donde esta corazon??

[This message has been edited by EversBoo15 (edited 02-14-2004).]


Posts: 116 | From: Va,Usa | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kieodo
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Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that happened, I'm sure it was probably an experience we ALL would like to go without! As for hearing from someone who has had their girlfriend or boyfriend do something like this, I can't say I've been there. I think the only questions out of the four you've listed I can take a whack at, being numbers three and four!

Okay, as for question "numba" three. Should you let him go after all these years? As far as I can tell by reading, he doesn't really seem like someone who can control themselves. No matter what, if BOTH of you are not comfortable about doing something like that but he does it anyways, that should flash a warning sign. The question is, do you really want to put yourself in jeopardy of having this happening again and getting pregnant the next time? If you've been together so long and he's hasn't done ANYTHING like this, it would be okay, but if he HAS done something like this in the past, I would just "take a break" or all-together break it off with him. You can find someone who would take better care of you. If he REALLY, TRULY cared about you, he would have stopped when you screamed.

If you decide you just want to see how things work out, DON'T put yourself in a place where you can EVER have that opportunity again. ALWAYS have someone with you next time. It's nice to really bond with your boyfriend, I know, but there's always that chance he could do it again, and then there's the chance of you getting pregnant.

Now, question four, what should you tell your parents about it? If you haven't already told them EVERYTHING, make sure you do. I would recommend maybe having a counseling session if you've been mentally and emotionally stressed out, because they're there to help you through this. Your parents will be understanding, although I'm sure you're a bit fearful of what they might say.

If your boyfriend has done anything like this in the past, break things off with him, because there is just way too much of a risk of him doing something like this again, and next time he could either seriously hurt you or get you pregnant.

As for your pregnancy dilema, if you had 7 pregnancy tests say you WERE pregnant, but your Gyn said you weren't, then I would recommend just double checking with ANOTHER, DIFFERENT Gyn, because sometimes there can be error. Hope that helps! Best of luck getting through this! I'm glad you told someone and have gotten on this so soon.


Posts: 28 | From: Clovis, Ca, USA | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
froggy_dear
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Hun, I have to disagree with Kieodo on your third question. What this boy did to you was a violent rape. RAPE. You said no, you fought back, you screamed. You did everything you could to stop him, and he didn't have enough respect for you to stop. Sure you've been with him a long time, and it may be hard to break it off with him, but that was rape. You should break off your relation with him, tell your parents what he did to you, and go to the police and tell them (that last one is hard to think about, I know). Your gyn can vouch for you, because she saw that your vagina walls were damaged.

Do you have someone you can really talk to? Like a counseler, or a relative, or any adult you really trust? (I'm not knocking talking to your friends, but sometimes adults have more perspective on things) Talking to someone would probably be good. It can help you work through your emotional pain. And if you talk to a therapist or someone like that, it's totally confidential.

About being pregnant, I don't know. After a day the pregnancy test wouldn't be able to tell if it was from what you posted about. Take one 10-14 days total from when it happened. And then go back to your gyn, and have her check again, if you want to be absolutely certain.

Sorry this happened to you.


Posts: 317 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
EversBoo15
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Thanks for your support. Just need to hear about other people who have been raped and how they dealed with it.~EversBoo(16)~
Posts: 116 | From: Va,Usa | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DRepublicScaredyCat14
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Thanks for the advice. Oh my im truly sry about what happened to you. I wouldn't kno about it b/c nothing has happened to me like that. I'm still a virgin.

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DRuplican that is scared alll the time...^-^


Posts: 4 | From: Va,Woodbridge,USA | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dreamBaBy
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We have topics on rape in our support groups forum also is you would like to check out some there.
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000006.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000164.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000168.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000403.html

Posts: 93 | From: Alberta, Canada | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*transient
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I am so sorry to hear about what happened. Hearing about situations like yours make me so angry...Anyway, if you don't feel like you can talk to your parents right now, then try another adult you trust, or you can go to a counselor who will be able to help you tell your parents...since I guess they will find out at some point...and I'm sure they will be very understanding & supportive, and help you get through everything.
As for you "boyfriend", I would definitely leave him. If I was in your position, I would probably want to detach myself from him in every way possible! I know it's hard to let go of someone you care for so much, but honestly, it won't work unless you respect each other. And he clearly doesn't respect you at all! You could go to the police about it if you feel comfortable...I know alot of victims of rape don't tell anyone, but it helps everyone really... I mean, he would be charged (obviously), get what he deserves right, and then it might (hopefully) make him think about it & stop..because if he thinks he's gotten away with it, then he will probably continue acting like this with other people. By doing this you could not only be helping yourself get over the situation, but helping him and others as well...but again, when/if you're comfortable with it... anyway, I really hope everything works out for you, and take care of yourself okay? Things will be sorted out one way or another. Again, I'm really sorry. xoxo

Posts: 61 | From: ON Canada | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Three Steps Forward, One Step Back - A Scarleteen Volunteer's Story
Dealing With Rape
Advice from an Abuse Survivor

You may find the above articles helpful, in addition to the threads dreamBaBy linked to.

I'd like to reiterate that you were raped and anyone who would treat you in such a disrespectful and violent manner not someone you should even consider dating, trusting or even seeing again. Cutting them out of your life completely is far healthier than trying to put a relationship back together and is something I highly recommend.

Pressing charges is also an excellent idea; it will hopefully prevent him from attacking you or anyone else again.

I also agree that some real-life counseling is in order. This is not a small matter and all the help and support you can get to deal with it will be helpful.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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DRepublic, while it's certainly understandable that you would want to change your username because of what you've experienced, it would be really helpful to try to mention that where there might be any confusion.
Thanks.

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Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

And everybody's got to live their life
And God knows I've got to live mine


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
tiaxmarie
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eversboo, you said you took a pregnancy test the next day, and it said you were pregnant? that can't be true, it wouldnt show up so early, and in your other posts you said you used protection the other times.

im sorry you were raped by your boyfriend, but just because he's your boyfriend, doesnt mean he gets to have sex with you whenever he wants. i was molested by my cousin a few years ago, and its a tough thing to go through, but it does get easier.

my advice to you: break up with Ever even though you "love" him. if he did this to you once, he'll do it again, or to someone else, so tell your parents what happened, and be honest, tell them you've had sex with him willingly before, but this time you told him to stop. id also suggest pressing charges... he cant get away with it, he'll do it to someone else, do whats best for you, and i think in this situation, thats breaking up with him and going to the police. good luck.

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*Tia Marie*


Posts: 30 | From: Maine, USA | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
EversBoo15
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Milke what are you talking about......?????
DRepublic...is my retarded cousin...I told her about this web site.... shes Dominican and Puerto Rican...lol thats not me.

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Puerto Rican O.o o.O always spaced out 0.o o.0 Puerto Rican Donde esta corazon??

[This message has been edited by EversBoo15 (edited 02-17-2004).]


Posts: 116 | From: Va,Usa | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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The fact that she thanked someone for advice given to you, has very similar syntax to yours, and posted from the same computer made it look as though you were the same person (and as I said, choosing a new user name certainly made sense in this case). Sorry for the misunderstanding, though.

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Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

And everybody's got to live their life
And God knows I've got to live mine


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie03
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Hun.. I read your post and about lost myself. I paniced because I realized that.. now, I'm not the only one that has been through this. I would really like to get a hold of you and tell you my story. I want to help everyone that has ever been through: Abuse & rape by someone they loved. It's been almost 8 months since I walked away from that relationship and the road has been really, really bumpy along the way. I don't think I am ever going to forget it..
* I have flashbacks and nightmares, all the inbetweens..*

I just wanted you to know hun, that you are NOT alone. I am here for you.. all the way.


Posts: 41 | From: Michigan,USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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