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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » plz help me

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Author Topic: plz help me
Member # 12169

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I have break up with my b/f almost a year. But we still really close together like we didnít break up. If I tell my friend about that they will think we still together. But we not. The reason y we break up is because he think I go out with a other guy when I with him. I think he really crazy y wonít he believe me I put so much time on him. I ask him does he still like me and he said no. but I really donít know y when I go out or talk on the phone with someone he will ask me all those question( who was it? Is it a guy? What the conversation about?)sometime he ask some question or say something that is not just a friend. What can I do? Sometime I just think donít call him and for get about him. But I canít do that cuz I really love him. Sometimes when he talk to me so mean yelling at me I will be sad for a while. I donít know y I could still stand that. There are couple of guys ask me out but I just say no to them cuz I canít forget about him. But I really donít know he still like me or not. I wish I could forget about him as easy as it was when I fell for him. What can I do to get him back or forget about him? Please help asasp. Thanx a lot

[This message has been edited by Love_is_crazy (edited 03-15-2003).]

Posts: 5 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blond ambition
Member # 9051

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Hey ya know? is crazy,

Maybe you could give him an ultumatum. And tell him you have been asked out and your considering on going. If he shows jealously or gets angry, stait out ask him, "what do you care? have no feelings for me anymore." And if it turns into a fight, just simply say, "i love you, and you are constantly throwing me mixed signals, so you figure out what you want, and when you do, call me, but i cant deal with you anymore. YOu either want me or you dont. Make a desicion."

HOw does that sound?

I hope it works out for strong, you take control of it.

Posts: 351 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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This guy sounds like a jealous control freak, and it sounds like he's already started to abuse you, love_is_crazy. Yes, yelling at you, hurting your feelings, demanding to know who you're talking to all the time and getting mad at you for talking to other people is *abusive* behaviour.

He is bad news! You really need to do your best to get away from him. Even if you love him, this does not change any of the bad things he did, is doing and will continue to do to you if you let him stick around.

You don't have to go out with other guys just yet. You can't shut these feelings off suddenly, but you need time to yourself *away from him* to get over him and move on. Spend time with other friends or get closer to your family, or bury yourself in schoolwork. Get a job. Do whatever it takes to start pushing him out of your life.

ŅQuť es el dealio?

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12169

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Well what if i say it to him and he has no reaction. Maybe he will be mad or jealously but I'm sure he won't get back with me cuz i have try to get back together almost half year but nothing have happen.i try to be really nice to him. When he not happy I try to say thing to make him fell better. I did try not to think about him but it really heard i try to make my self buzzy but it just can't u will still miss him. i really don't understand why i love him so much that i can't for get about him. I don't think there are anyway that I could not love him. Sometime I just want him to be really mean to me that I could for get about him. Will it help me not to love him that way? I think no one will know how much I love him that I could do anything for him

His prom is coming he didn't mansion anything about it but I want to be his partner. Don't know how should I say that to him?

Thanx for the ppl who give a advice

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Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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He has said, flkatly, that he doesn't like you.

If that isn't enough for you to understand that this is NOT a relationship you should pursue, then I earnestly suggest you seek out counseling, especially when you're saying things like that you want this person to be meaner to you. That is not healthy behaviour. That is self-abusive behaviour.

So, what will help you for starters is to understand -- for real -- that you need to move on, yesterday. That this is a person who is not interested in you, and who isn't that appealing anyway: chances are your feelings for him are even less about who is he and more about who he is in your head or your imagination.

Next, you need to turn down the drama and get some balanced, sensible support. There is no value or boon in being willing to "do anything" for someone who is mean to you and who doesn't care for you at all. Again, that's just self-destructive on your part. It's not romantic, nor is loving someone who isn't available to you or interested in you: that you feel you can't stop doesn't mean this is the romance of the century, it means YOU need to work on YOU and find healthy ways to feel love, for people who will return it in kind.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12183

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The fact that he can't stand for you to be involved with anyone else doesn't indicate that he loves you.

Given that he's making no attempt to BE with you while trying to prevent others from doing so tells me he's not alright upstairs.

He wants to control you. Don't help him do that. It's your life. Enjoy it for yourself.

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