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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Abuse?

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Author Topic: Abuse?
Surf Chicklet
Member # 11403

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Alright..I searched this and I got a thread on child abuse, but my case is a litte bit different, Im not 100% sure how to handle it.
See, my mom and dad are pretty well thought of in our town, nice people except for when it comes to this, so nobody would *ever* believe me if I told them this. But it's really happening. If my father, (its mostly my father) gets upset at me, instead of getting upset of yelling or doing something *halfway normal* he pulls my hair or kicks me or just slaps me, somtimes pushing my face into a table, choking me, etc.. I've tried to talk to him about this, saying that thats not a good way to handle it, and that though Im sorry for acting rude, he didn't need to do that. But he just laughs at me, and tells me he didnt do anything wrong, or that I deserved it.
I know that kids used to get beat up all the time when he was growing up, (thats what he says) but I dont think he knows things are different now. Is there any laws against what he's doing? I feel bad because with everything else, hes a good person who I can usually talk to, but when he gets upset he's just scary. I'd like to show him that it's not right to do something like this, but I dont know how or where to start. How should I react?

Posts: 59 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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Our grandparents' generation was, as a whole, neither stupid nor cruel. It was NOT okay to slap around or hurt kids then, and it still ain't, which is why assault is a criminal offense. You're doing well by trying to communicate with your father about the issue, but you'd be wise to speak to a guidance counsellor at school about finding further resources.


It was a good lay. . .

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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For the record, it is common for parents who were abused as children to continue that chain and abuse their own.

But it is also common for parents who were abused as children to seek out help, learn to parent differently, and treat their children as they should have been treated.

Are there laws against what he's doing? Absoluttely. What he is doing is pphysical abuse, and it can be deadly and greatly injurous, physically and emotionally. Whether or not he's a good person doesn't help keep you safe from harm, when that "good person" is choking you. And a good person will want NOT to abuse or injure others: they will want to stop.

So, as Milke says, I'd seriously encourage you to talk to a school counselor or to your local department of children and family services.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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