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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Please Help Me

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Author Topic: Please Help Me
Pooh Bear
Member # 5734

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I'm not sure if this is the section I should be in but it sounded appropriate.
My boyfriend of 2months is beginning to act weird. He's beginning to get really 'protective'. I have a lot of guy friends and he doesn't like me talking to them. And last night he told me he loved me, but a few minutes later started yelling at me because I went to the movies without him. Then he grabbed my arm and told me I didn't love him enough.
I'm not sure what to do. I love him dearly but I don't want to end up fearing that he finds out I'm talking to my friends. I'm just kinda worried that he may start to...well abuse me.
I could use any help availiable. Please.

Posts: 3 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5439

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Im really sorry to hear about this.

Dont let it go on if you suspect he is going to start abusing you. You dont need to be the victim of abuse. My advice if he starts abusing you, leave asap!

As for the friend thing, my bf dont like it when I talk to other guys, as well I dont like it if he talks to other girls. He is protective of me, but not to the point where he will hurt me.

If you feel like you need help with your relationship go to an adult or someone you trust. Tell them what is going on, they will be able to help you.

Hope things get better!

Posts: 213 | From: *Somewhere over the rainbow* | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

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It sounds to me like he already is abusing you, emotionally, and it had the potential to escalate to physically.

You may love him, but you have to ask yourself if this is the best relationship for you. If your boyfriend can't even trust you, you have to talk to him about it. Don't let his jealousy go to far, especially when there isn't a reason for it.

"where'ths my mommy?"

Akimsa (non-violence)


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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This is definitely a problem. You have every right to go out with your friends or alone if you wish. He has no right to dictate the way you run your life, the same way you may not run his. If either of you have a problem, and obviously you do, you need to sit down together and talk it out - yelling and grabbing solve nothing and make for a very bad situation.

It also seems ridiculous to me that he doesn't want to you to talk to your male friends. I too have many male friends, some of whom I'm very affectionate towards, and my partner has never had a problem with that nor discouraged me from spending time with them. He can understand that I am capable of simply being friends with others, as can most people. Something that may help him deal with your friends is introducing him to them. The familiar is a lot less intimidating than the unknown.

If no solution can be reached or abuse of any form occurs (and it sounds like it's on its way if not already knocking on the door) get out of the situation immediately.

Bottom line: do not stay with people who cause you harm.

Check out Advice from an Abuse Survivor

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 01-03-2002).]

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3542

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I ignored those warning signs and I ended up where I couldn't get out.. nothing has ever hurt so much. One day I will post my story.. one day..

Posts: 41 | From: Michigan,USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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