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theVcard.net
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Do most date rape victims turn to promiscuity or to abstinence?

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Posts: 6 | From: P.G. County, Maryland, USA | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Why do you assume that the reaction to any sort of sexual assault must be at polar ends of the spectrum?

I'm not aware of any studies following rape survivors of date rape specifically in that way, but in my personal and professional experience most sexual abuse survivors of all types don't fall into either extreme, especially as any sort of permanent rule. Most try and continue their dating/sex lives as normally as they can, making whatever adjustments they need to handle the emotional results of a rape.


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theVcard.net
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I didn't mean to make assumptions but I have a close friend in my class who recently told me about one of her experiences. Now that I think about it, she was acting a bit strange after the time she said it occurred. I was wondering what common behavior changes you might notice.
Posts: 6 | From: P.G. County, Maryland, USA | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Well, what's "strange?"

In other words, being sexually and/or violently violated is not, however common, anything normal or in any way small. So, expecting someone to bounce right back, or to be the same person they were is generally expecting much too much. We never get to be the same person again: we are all indelibly changed.

There are not "common behaviours," because not only is every survivor and individual, every assault is different. For some survivors, they may become withdrawn in some ways, but for others they may be more gragarious than they were. Some may have less interest in consensual sex or dating, others more. Some may be very upset, weepy, volatile, others may appear in no way shaken. It truly is ALL over the map.

But honestly, there's no one normal way to react to a violation or an attack.

There are a LOT of rape support forums and boards on the net if you're interested in first-person stories, and to see how much this stuff varies. Here's one to start with: http://www.survivingtothriving.org/mainpage

But you can dig up more yourself easily with a Google search, or read some more polished studies in books you can find via your local library.

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-24-2006).]


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ladydexter
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I was not date raped, I was raped by my fiance of the time, but I did not go to either end. I just carried on, found someone else I liked, had sex with them when the time came, split up with them and have been abstinent ever since.

Just because someone is raped does not mean they'll become abstinent or promiscuous or even homosexual. Just like some people like white bread and some people like brown, and they find a bit of mould on their sandwich. Some people might go buy the other kind of bread because of that, and other people will just go "oh well, should eat it quicker next time!" and carry on buying that kind of bread.

Not the best analogy in the world, but you see what I'm getting at?


Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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