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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » 15 Signs Someone Might Be Dangerous

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Author Topic: 15 Signs Someone Might Be Dangerous
BiLLaBaBy017
Activist
Member # 6514

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I know this is pretty similar to the Abusive Partner Checklist, but I just thought I should post it anyways. I got this when I went and talked to an investigator about my situation.

1. Wants to get involved fast: Right away they want you to promise to only be with them. Says, "No one's ever loved me like you do."

2. Jealous: They want to make sure you aren't with anyone else; calls all the time, or shows up without telling you they're coming.

3. Wants to control you: Wants to know who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on your car; keeps all the money; makes you ask for their OK to go anywhere or do anything.

4. Expects you to be perfect: They expect you to know what they want and meet their every need.

5. Cuts you off from others: Doesn't want you to see family and friends; won't let you have a phone or car; doesn't want you to work.

6. Blames others for problems: If anything goes wrong, it's always someone else's fault-- the boss, or you. Everyone is out to get them.

7. Blames others for their feelings: They say, "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you" or "You make me mad" instead of "I'm mad."

8. Gets upset easily: They get mad about things that are just part of life.

9. Hurts animals and children: Kills or punishes animals. Wants children to do things they can't, or teases them until they cry.

10. Uses force during sex: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; says they find the idea of rape exciting.

11. Says things to hurt you: Always criticizes you or says cruel things; puts you down, curses, calls you ugly names.

12. Thinks women should obey men (or women should obey other women): Wants you to serve, obey and stay at home.

13. Sudden changes in mood: Switches from sweet and loving to mad in a few minutes.

14. Has hit women/men before: Says they hit women/men in the past.

15. Says they will hurt you: Says things like "I'll break your neck," then says "I didn't really mean it."

[ 08-17-2006, 04:09 PM: Message edited by: BiLLaBaBy017 ]

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Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift


*^_AsHLeY_^*

Posts: 294 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Thanks, Ashley!

(Keep in mind, these things can be true for women or individuals in non-hetero relationships as well...so don't get stuck on the "he" language.)

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Sarah Liz

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BiLLaBaBy017
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Member # 6514

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Oh no I know. It was on the little card that the investigator gave me, so I just copied it from what it said on there. My apologies!!

--------------------
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift


*^_AsHLeY_^*

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BiLLaBaBy017
Activist
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I am still in an abusive relationship, currently in the process of getting a divorce, and when I saw the Abusive Partner Checklist I knew my husband had most of these but I just thought it was part of his personality, and didn't think it was a big deal. Of course there are some people who are in relationships that notice these things and their eyes don't open up. And some people don't think they are red flags.

--------------------
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is mystery
Today is a gift


*^_AsHLeY_^*

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KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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(No apologies needed...I just wanted to make sure that other users knew that the things on the list are warning signs across the board!)

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Sarah Liz

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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