Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Scared of boyfriend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Scared of boyfriend
luvinhp89
Activist
Member # 21227

Icon 1 posted      Profile for luvinhp89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My boyfriend has always seemed really sweet and mild. He doesn't get angry very often and he's usually really mellow with everyone. The only exception is his sister. She's extremely hard to get along with and I can't even count the number of fights (verbal) I've witnessed between her and my boyfriend or her and their mother.

About two days, my boyfriend and his sister got into a huge arguement. His mom beeped in while we were on the phone and he told me he would call me back. When he did eventually call me back, he informed me (actually rather calmly) that he'd punched his sister in the back and that it took all that he had not to punch her in the face.

Yeah. I was shocked. I cannot believe that he would stoop so low as to hit a woman...especially his own sister. I'm really afriad that he might get angry and hit me. He's upset with me now because I told him that I was a little afraid of him. He keeps saying over and over that he'd never hit me. Do you think I'm out of line? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[ 03-07-2006, 06:22 PM: Message edited by: luvinhp89 ]

Posts: 95 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No one is ever out of line to feel they are at risk of harm by someone who has clearly harmed others. In fact, that's good self-preservation kicking in there.

So, what would I do? (In all honesty, I personally would seriously reconsider a relationship with anyone who struck another person in anger. )

If you want to maintain the relationship, I'd simply be very wary, and keep an eye out for any signals of abuse. I'd likely also suggest my partner and his family look into family therapy ASAP.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Signs of abuse can be found in this thread:
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000698.html

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bunni13
Activist
Member # 16296

Icon 7 posted      Profile for Bunni13     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, to be honest, you were completely right to say what you did. That was on your mind and he needed to see it because when you are in a relationship you share things. Just explain to him that when he told you this you were shocked because you never seen him act like that. You've always seen him really calm. He will understand if he's never said anything like that. My boyfriend is the same way, but my boyfriend would do anything for me, and I'm sure yours would too. Dont worry honey, talking is always the key!! Hope this helps. [Smile]
Posts: 65 | From: Missouri, US | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
And by the by, is that also this boyfriend?

http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=006710;p=1
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=006556;p=1#000000

Because if it is, I'm seeing other reasons to also have concern here.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
luvinhp89
Activist
Member # 21227

Icon 1 posted      Profile for luvinhp89     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, this is the same boyfriend. We've been dating a little less than 6 months. I'm having serious doubts about our relationship...I don't know. He's changed a lot in the past month or two and he's been having terrible mood swings. I'm so confused. I have no idea what to do...
Posts: 95 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarkChild717     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What ever you decide to do, make the decision for yourself only. Ensure you're own safety, even if there's the slightest doubt in your mind.

--------------------
Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.)

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3