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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » Our Archives » Ask a Sexpert Archive » Should I tell about my friend having sex...?

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Author Topic: Should I tell about my friend having sex...?
Pixie69
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Member # 406

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Okay a good friend of mine had sex when she was 13 with an 18 year old. Now it's been a year later, she says that the second time they did it they didn't use a condom (how stupid!!!!) but fortunatly she is obviously not pregnat. I read that when you first have sex you should start seeing an obgyn and I've tried to talk to her about it but she won't. I've been thinking about telling her mom because the 18 y/o wasn't a virgin so she could have aids or an std or something and I'm just really worried. The problem is if I tell my friend will be really mad as I've talked to her repeatedly and she just won't...but if I tell her mom there will be the whole "who did you do it with..." thang and this guy is really nice and all...they thought they were in love they were just stuid! So what should I do? should I just do nothing and let her mess up her own life? Well thanks to everyone

Britt


Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mophead
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Member # 7

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Let her know (in a note maybe?) that there are free confidential clinics, and leave a list of those that are in your area. Well, that's what I'd do, anyway...

------------------
MASTURBATING IS NOT A CRIME


Posts: 752 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
starpoet
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If you tell her mother, rape charges may be pending. There's no statutory limit on rape.

If she was 13 and the guy was 18, the law views it as rape.


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shonny
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Member # 150

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If I was your friend and you told that I was having sex with an older fuy I woukd hate you. You could start big problems like rape charges, fights, and hatred! If it comes to the point where he's beating on her and she finds rashes or bumps on her body then you may get involved, but you should just leave the whole issue alone unless the boy doesn't know how old she is!
Posts: 8 | From: massachussettes | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celise
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Let her make her own mistakes, You shouldn't do that to her, it would not be fair, after a while she will understand that what she did was not right, and also If this guy is really nice and you don't want him to go to jail don't tell her mom, leave it up to her.I don't think it is youre place to tell her mom.
Posts: 89 | From: Newton, NC, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I agree that it's not your place to tell her mother that they had sex, and I like Mophead's suggestion. Another option is for you to schedule a gyno appointment for yourself (even if you've never had sex it can be a good idea), and ask your friend to come to hold your hand. Once she sees that it's not really all that scary she might be more willing to make an appointment for herself.
Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lost_Boy
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Member # 178

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Hmm, as for telling, I'm not sure what the best course of action is. As for rape charges, they could easily surface, and the fact there is more than a 3-year difference between the two would cause the charges to be a felony, not just a misdemenea (sp?). But it would be best for your friend to get checked up . . .
Posts: 6 | From: Sun City | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
HotGrrl99
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A lot of young girls around here are having sex with older boys! Just remember that if you tell her parents, they will most likely flip out and ground the girl, and forbid her to see him, and probably cause all kinds of legal problems. On the other hand, if she gets pregnant or gets AIDS, you may regret not saying anything for the rest of your life! It's your call.

[This message has been edited by HotGrrl99 (edited July 26, 2000).]


Posts: 384 | From: Malibu, California, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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