Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I know this is early, but....

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I know this is early, but....
Ccoolleenn
Neophyte
Member # 109286

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ccoolleenn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have NO CLUE what to get my boyfriend for Valentine's Day. I know this is early, but I like to have some idea of what I am going to spend and what I need to get in advance, and right now, I am lost on ideas.

Well, I do have one kind of joke idea - but that isn't enough, because he is seriously the best gift giver in the world, whereas I am the absolute worst =P I know he doesn't care, and that it's not about the money you spend, or the present you get, but I always feels inadequate and I was just after some good suggestions from the lovely people of Scarleteen =)
And also, I feel kind of spam-y lately, I have been posting a lot. Sorry =P

Posts: 24 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What makes him the best gift-giver?

In other words, what is it you love about the gifts he gives so much? Chances are that answer is one good route to figuring out what to give him as gifts yourself. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ccoolleenn
Neophyte
Member # 109286

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ccoolleenn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
He just seems to know me so much, and my gifts aren't the best. I know things he likes - playing drums, music, etc - but he doesn't like it when other people buy him albums, and he doesn't need anything new for his drums, so that kind of stuff is out. He doesn't "need" anything, you know what I mean?
Posts: 24 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The things he gives you, are they things he needs?

Whether or not we consider a gift a great one often has little to do with what we need: usually that has more to do with wanting a thing, and just as much, sometimes more, what it means to us emotionally.

He sounds like a creative person: how about coming up with something creative to do for or with him (like maybe tickets to a show you think he'd like, which you can then make even bigger by making the night a surprise, or doing something cool for dinner before, etc?), or to make for him?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ccoolleenn
Neophyte
Member # 109286

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ccoolleenn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
For Christmas he bought me a brand new guitar, and while I didn't need it, it was just - wow! I am not a very materialistic person, but I don't want to be a lame gift giver. I know that sounds bad haha....

That's the problem.. I found a really cool concert that he would love to go to, but he lives 8 hours from me and from where we go to University, and this concert would be during a time when we are on break from college. I don't want to commit to the expensive tickets if I'm not sure he can come up during that time.

Are there any good "go to" presents for Valentines Day for guys? It seems much easier for guys to buy for girls.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't think this is about gender, honestly. Plus, I think we can agree that people of any gender who want to play guitar would enjoy one. [Smile]

So, a guitar is a pretty big gift money-wise: is that the kind of budget you are in? It doesn't have to be: for a gift to be 'as good" as one that cost a lot of money, you don't really have to spend any money at all.

Did you learn to play it at all?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ccoolleenn
Neophyte
Member # 109286

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ccoolleenn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I just mean that it is kind of easier to buy for girls on Valentine's Day - a necklace, flowers, etc - but guys (or at least not my guy) don't really want that sort of thing.

My budget is..... very limited. But I will be working when I get back to school, and I will be able to afford something at least pretty good.

I already could play a little, but I was playing on a guitar that cost $50 with strings that always broke, and his gift really got me back into playing. It was really sweet =)

Posts: 24 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The thing about those things, I think, seeming so easy is the assumption all or most women like those things a lot. The thing is, some do, some don't, and while ultimately, going with what is or seems gendernormative as a guess may make "winning" more likely, if the other person isn't that way, it's a lose.

Just like say, getting a football jersey for your BF would be a gift some guys would love, but sounds like he would not be that excited about, you know? [Smile]

I'd say basing gifts on people's personalities, and some demonstration of how we value them and our relationship with them are way better things to lead with than gender.

So, what about showing him how much you like his gift to you as a gift? Like, for instance, coming up with a song to play for him you wrote, even a very silly one (or, learn a song he loves)? So often, in all the history of music, three or four chords are all you need to play for a song. [Smile]

If that doesn't feel like enough for you, you can always pair it with something related, like, say, a mix CD of first song attempts by now-known artists, or a made-up album cover with the two of you on it?

[ 01-13-2014, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Karybu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Something food-related often works well, too. If he has a favourite restaurant, you can often get gift certificates for the cost of a dinner for the two of you. Or maybe he drinks tea or coffee...a few samples and a nice mug is always good, especially if you're on a budget.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3