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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » idk whether i should leave or stay, i feel used

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Author Topic: idk whether i should leave or stay, i feel used
kandiss204
Neophyte
Member # 109315

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ok yes it is me again but i need confidence. I been living with this guy for a year now and is still repeatedly putting up with the ex calling and texting her boyfriend. the guy always say" I'm gonna press charges on her" he also told me he had a restraining order on the ex. turns out it was all a lie. every time the ex call thim and I am around he make threats but never fall through. such as today he said" on the blood, on my momma if you don't stop calling my m*therfucking phone I'm gone come over there and kick your door down and choke the s*it out of you!" he even wrote the girl friends and made a drama outcry saying he want her to leave him alone. that was also filled with threats and lies. this ex has been in the picture for the whole time we was together, he always make threats. he even said he blocked her, turns out he never even blocked her. he calls the ex out of her name and talk about her badly. the ex calls from different phone numbers for some reason and when she calls and I am around, the guy gives the phone to me to answer. it seem like the ex girlfriend know I am around, so she calls him. but he also said he was gonna press charges against the ex, he never did that either. he also be answering the ex phone calls when I am away, but in text messages him and the ex are arguing. Now the ex texted my phone telling me things about my family, what I be doing and who my parents are and more stuff. She told me every single thing that could’ve came from him and nobody else. i been dealing with this ex the entire time we been dating.
Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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Hi, kandiss204. Have you posted with us before using a different account? We ask that people just have the one. If there's an old one you don't have access to any more, that's fine, but we'd like to know so we can keep track of things.

This doesn't sound like a healthy situation all round, and it's obviously making you unhappy. I wonder why the guy gives the phone to you to answer rather than simply hang up the call unanswered? That would be the thing to do, as well as changing phone number, for someone who really wants no contact with a person who is calling.

Someone repeatedly lying is not a good sign - it suggests a basic lack of respect for the person they are lying to. Someone making threats - to anyone - is also really unacceptable.

It sounds like the real problem you have is likely the guy, not his ex-girlfriend. With what you've told us here, I'm not sure why you would want to continue dating him and living with him?

[ 01-11-2014, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: Redskies ]

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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CraftyKid
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That doesn't sound good, I personally, would have to sit down and have some serious thinking to do about whether or not I was willing to deal with it.

Can you move back with your parents or a friend while you think this through?

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kandiss204
Neophyte
Member # 109315

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yes i can...i just feel like hes using me
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September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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So it sounds like this is not a good fit all around, and is a relationship that is making you unhappy.

CraftyKid made a good suggestion earlier when she suggested you get some space from him to think things through. It also sounds like you could do with some friends or family to support you. Can you look into leaving for a while to make that happen?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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