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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » 10 months into a relationship and no 'I love you' yet!!?

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Author Topic: 10 months into a relationship and no 'I love you' yet!!?
Melli*
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Member # 101331

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Title says it all: Been with my boyfriend for 10 months and neither of us has said those special three words. Is this normal?

We take our relationship seriously, which is something a lot of people don't do today. We don't want to say 'I love you' just to say it; we want to say it when we're 100% certain we can't see ourselves with anybody else for the rest of our lives. I've had other boyfriends, he's had other girlfriends - and none of them have ever been this important. He never waited - always rushed. I never waited - always rushed; but for some reason, simply being where we are - with each other - is good enough for us.

He and I had conversations about it. He wants to wait for the perfect time, says it'll be worth it when we remember how intense and emotional that night was. I personally just want to blurt out 'I love you!' every time I look into his eyes. Is this normal?

Posts: 30 | From: Halifax | Registered: Dec 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
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There's really no one-size-fits-all model for how to approach talking about love in relationships. There isn't a right or wrong time to do it, or way to do it; everyone feels differently about expressing those sorts of feelings!

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have slightly different opinions on when you want to say you love each other; it's ok to get to that point on a different schedule if that's what happens.

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Melli*
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Member # 101331

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We definitely do have different opinions, which is why I'm trying to understand our relationship a bit better. : )

I asked this question on another forum and most of the responses I received were negative. They stated that my boyfriend will never love me if he hasn't said those words yet and that most men know they're in love within 2 months of being with a woman. I'm not doubting my feelings at all - I know that the wait to hear those words will be worth the anxiety I feel right now. Is it wrong that we're waiting to say 'I love you' yet are sexually intimate with one another?

A lot of people on that forum say I don't know what love is, and that sex does not equal a happy relationship. Although I agree with their second statement, I and my boyfriend are the only people that know what we felt that night. We weren't two people participating in sex, we transitioned into one body together (if that's even possible).

Posts: 30 | From: Halifax | Registered: Dec 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Molias
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I have to really really strongly disagree with the idea that someone who hasn't said they love you will never love you. For one thing, feeling love for someone doesn't necessarily directly correspond with the act of saying you love them. But also, there just aren't rules about when to say it, or even what it means if you don't. It sounds like some of the people who made those posts are confusing their own feelings and opinions about this with solid fact.

So honestly, I think your best plan is to go with your own feelings here, and not worry too much about outside opinions - which I guess includes me! [Wink]

Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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