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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Fantasizing About Crush

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Author Topic: Fantasizing About Crush
Member # 96341

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I'm 19 and this has troubled me for a while. When I have a crush on a girl, I will sometimes lie in my bed and fantasize about her at night before I fall asleep. This has been going on for a long time. I have a strong imagination, and so these fantasies can be fairly complicated, with me even talking to her in my head. What I fantasize about varies, most of the times I just think about touching, kissing, and her sleeping with me, but sometimes it involves sex. I don't fantasize about hurting them or anything, nor does it get really graphic. The problem is that these are usually girls who I don't know very well, and so I start to feel bad about thinking about them in that way and I worry that fantasizing about them is making it harder for me to know them for real. Anyone have any insight?
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Executive Director & Founder
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I'm not sure I understand why you feel this is problematic.

Do you WANT to get to know them better? If so, do YOU think fantasizing like you are is creating barriers to that? If so, how about just choosing to let those thoughts come and go, rather than delving more deeply into them?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 108531

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Hey there!

Well, I don't know how it is for other guys but I'm a girl and you've just described something that I do very often. I fantasise about people I know well or not all even and sometimes even celebrities. Like you, these fantasies go from anything from making out to other more hectic stuff. Literally every night before I fall asleep. I'll have a fantasy about cuddling in my bed with a guy I think is cute/have a crush on. I think it's completely normal. I mean, I have many friends who do it also!

I ,in no way, have ANY professional experience but I really don't think you should feel bad about it. Like, the first few times I did it (especially about people I know) I felt kind of weird and gross. But then I realised it was all a part of my developing sexuality and a way for my mind to sort of manifest the things that my body was telling me it wanted to do.

I really think you should try and enjoy it instead feeling ashamed by it. I mean, it's your imagination! You can do whatever you want:)

Posts: 24 | From: South Africa | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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