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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My friend is getting married

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Author Topic: My friend is getting married
Member # 96171

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OK so my friend is officially getting married next year, and she's Mega excited and so am I.  I mean her fiance has even personally called me one of the best friends she's got, according to him.  I have helped them do tons of shit, I've helped them smooth things out and I am the one that sees her the most.

I already knew I wouldn't be the maid of honor, because she's letting a friend she's known forever even though they've been fighting.  I get that, I understand, I've only known her for a couple of years.

However it upsets me a bit that she hasn't asked or said that I would be a bridesmaid.  I mean, I feel that I've been with her through shit and back and I was the only one of her friends that helped her and her dad move out of their home when he got it taken away.  Should I say or ask anything?  Like hint or what?  It just honestly hurts my feelings a bit.

Go with the flow!

Posts: 30 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Jul 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Hey, jayjay92! [Smile] Sorry for the late reply, the boards a bit understaffed these days.

I apologize because I do not know how to best respond to your present query. However, I am bumping up this post so that users who are able to give a better response than myself can see and you can get the help you need.


[ 08-01-2012, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: Sans ]

"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

Posts: 537 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Jayjay92, I'm not sure if I can be of service here, but I will attempt to try! I was a part of a wedding a few months ago, and since I was so immersed in it (my friend talked about it a lot, as I guess is customary with weddings), I kind of ended up thinking about a few things.

My friend, too, chose a friend she had known for over a decade as her maid of honour. I think sometimes, even though these kinds of best friends drift apart, they still get drafted as the maids of honour due to not only the amount of time the bride has known them, but also because of other factors (maybe your friend likes her best friend's planning styles or thinks she would be a good fit for the job because she has had experience throwing parties). But, I think it's obvious that your friend cares about you a lot and values your opinion and how you feel (especially since her fiance has already stated that you are one of her closest friends; and that's an outsider's perspective into the relationship!); so, whether or not she includes you in the ceremony, try to remind yourself of these things (also, being a friend who had had a somewhat big role to play in a wedding that was very stressful, sometimes it's nice to not have a huge role but to be supportive of your friend in other ways. For instance, take her out for coffee or dinner as a "wedding distraction." She will probably appreciate that!).

As far as you asking about being a bridesmaid, im honestly not sure. That might be putting her - and you - in an uncomfortable situation. But, you can always dance around the subject and say something like, "How far into the wedding have you been planning? Do you guys have a list of groomsmen and bridesmaids?" You can even ask about random stuff, like decorations, to try and act casual.

Please try not to feel badly about this. You are a good and valued friend to her, and I'm sure she knows that! Take care!

"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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