OK so I am a 20 year old female with plenty of sexual experience. I lost my virginity when I was nearly 18 and I have always been very confident and vocal about what I wanted or don't want, maybe because I was rather late. I have a 15 year old sister who I love to bits. She has a boyfriend (her first one) and I know that they started having sex after only one month of dating. Firstly I am pissed off with my parents because they allowed over night stays from the very beginning without really talking to her about sex or consent. I understand that she is 15 and her boyfriend is 17 so it was probably going to happen anyway. So I overheard her talking to a friend on the phone last week about how she doesn't enjoy the sex because it hurts. The next day she left her facebook page open on my computer and I saw a message she had sent to her boyfriend where she apologized for being on her period and his reply showed that he was seriously pissed off about not getting sex. I haven't "spied" on her since and won't do it again because I feel extremely guilty. But I am really worried that she thinks she needs to be sexually available for him at all times and that he gets pissed off otherwise. I know that I'm not her mum but I really want to make it clear to her that it is important to talk about your sexual needs and that she isn't her boyfriend's property. Should I just keep quiet or is there a way to carefully address this topic?
Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2012
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Have you ever just made clear to her that you're available for her to come and talk to for support or questions around sexuality?
If not, I think just doing that would be a good place to start.
Just FYI, you being able to talk to her about these things isn't you trying to be her mother or anything. In fact, I'd venture to say that in a whole lot of places, it's older sibs who wind up being that person more than parents. ideally, obviously, it'd be both, but alas.
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