Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He's hiding things from me.

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: He's hiding things from me.
Member # 86967

Icon 8 posted      Profile for audio.repeat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My boyfriend is hiding things from me. Lately he refuses to let me have his phone or see what he's saying to his friend ryan. One time he said that Ryan was talking about personal thing he and his girlfriend did, and my boyfriends excuse for not letting me see the texts were out of respect for his best friends privacy... I understand this, however it seems kinda fishy. Shouldn't HE trust ME enough to show me the text? I realize It really doesn't matter what ryan said, but the fact that my bf hides anything from me scares me. I want our relationship to be completely 100% open and honest.

What are your opinions on this situation?

Posts: 16 | From: TX | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, in healthy relationships, people not only should get to have some privacy, some limits and boundaries per privacy are good. No boundaries, no privacy, isn't actually healthy or sound.

His relationship with Ryan is his relationship with Ryan. I don't know if you have one with Ryan, but if Ryan asked for his conversation to be kept private, I'd hope you could respect that. I don't know if he did or he didn't, but even if he didn't, or he wants his conversations with Ryan to be something that are his, sharing parts of them with you only when he wants, he should be able to do that, just like I'd hope he'd give you the space and respect to have private conversations with your friends.

Also, I don't know how things have been going, but if you have been pushing boundaries around him having any privacy, or anything that isn't shared with you, he may well be pushing back harder with something like his phone to try and hold some kind of boundary.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3