Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Boyfriend?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Boyfriend?
Katrinka
Neophyte
Member # 95797

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Katrinka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I go to college near an army base. I met an awesome guy who's in the military, and we exchanged contact information. We had the best first date I've ever had, and we had sex (I can count the number of partners I've had on one hand. I've never had sex out of a committed monogamous relationship before, much less on a first date, but it was just perfect). His leave time happened to start on my second week of summer vacation, so he promised to visit me, despite the fact my family is a 6 hour drive away.
After more than a week of not hearing from him, I didn't expect to ever hear from him again, but I was wrong. He drove all the way down, met (and thoroughly impressed) my parents, and took me to meet his friends a couple hours away. There was no sex this time. He was hugging and kissing me the whole time he was with his friends, but introduced me as his "friend". When one of his friends asked if I was his girlfriend, he didn't give a straight answer.
In the car, we had an awkward "what are we" conversation. He asked if I was his girlfriend. I asked him if he wanted me to be. He said "I don't like possessive terms like my girlfriend or my wife. So no".
So...what on earth does that mean? He said he was going to come visit me again this coming week and said there would be more sex. I didn't get that impression from him before, but now I'm afraid that that's all he's after. Am I being paranoid? Can anyone explain to me what's going on? Or should I just see it through and find out for myself?

Posts: 1 | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This early in the game, I think it's way to early for a "what are we" discussion regardless, IMO.

After all, what you know you are right now are two people that had one date, on one-night stand (for now, anyway), one week without any contact at all (on both your parts, if you didn't call him either), a very early and, from the sounds of things, without warning, meeting-of-the-parents, a same-say meeting of friends, and a strange -- from my point of view, given sex is about both of you -- announcement from him there would be more sex happening.

So, where you stand now, with this being brand-new, and not something already established, all you can do, all anyone can at the start of something, is spend some time feeling things out, if that's something you both want to do. Either of you can talk about what you're looking for right now, and what you might want to explore with each other so far, but for right now, I think what you are are two people who have spent time together only twice, even if some of that time involved some intimacy.

Know what I mean?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3