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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Does He Want Me Back? What Is Going On? What Should I Do? (Page 3)

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Author Topic: Does He Want Me Back? What Is Going On? What Should I Do?
WesLuck
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I think it would be a very good idea to evaluate his past history with you, including this entire thread, before you make any decisions on whether you want to be with him again.

What do others think?

[ 05-10-2012, 08:47 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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karibenitez
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Hm, true true.
I'd like other people's opinions too!

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September
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You can't ever "make" someone love you. That is just not how emotions work, and setting out to consciously try and change someone's feelings is also pretty manipulative.

How did this meeting today come about? Have you both been earnestly giving yourselves time apart, without meetings and text messages? Have you each been making an effort to move on, and to focus on your own lives, outside of this relationship?

I ask, because it doesn't sound to me like either of you have really gotten the chance yet to truly get some distance and do some processing on this relationship. And you know, there is a reason why relationships end. And while it can occasionally work out to rekindle a relationship, that doesn't usually work until everyone involved has done some serious thinking and reflecting, and has had time to be on their own for a while. Without all of that, you're pretty much doomed to repeat the same mistakes again, and that's not healthy for anyone involved.

Also, let's not forget that this guy, in the meantime, threatened to expose pictures of you against your will. That is seriously crappy behavior. Has he taken any responsibility for that?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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WesLuck
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Plus, he pressured you to make those photos in the first place. That is seriously bad form and behaviour.

[ 05-10-2012, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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karibenitez
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Thank you guys.
He keeps telling me he has feelings for me but doesn't want me anymore which is so confusing and it hurts and I just want this all to end!
Why does he keep coming back to me?
But why do I let him? :'(
I guess I still love him and still want him back.
I'm afraid of never being able to love again.
He's moving to a different country on June 4th.
That hurts a lot.
I want him back but then again, I think of everything he's done to me.
I'm such a failure at this.
:'(

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WesLuck
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Your heart and your emotions are sometimes not in your own conscious control. You might want to decline further requests for him to see you, and start the separation process. Because it is not fair that he still wants to be with you yet won't own up and try to address his problems and be responsible (which all close relationships require).

One important thing - you WILL be able to love again. You will need to process your loss and move on, but you can take your time with that. [Smile]

You are important too! You are a valuable person in the world, and you don't need to be in a relationship with this person who has let you down to be valuable and unique. You are that already, all by yourself! [Big Grin]

A thing I suggest, do something by yourself that makes you feel good, such as gardening. Something you enjoy and that makes you feel more calm and you can focus on by yourself. I think it would be best to start the separation process, as from the sounds of things the relationship that was is not right for you.

I wish you all the best in your healthy grieving! Life certainly sucks sometimes. But you will love again, and have the ability to find a more suitable and loving relationship that has a lot more positive aspects! [Smile]

-hugs for karibenitez-

[ 05-11-2012, 07:06 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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karibenitez
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I texted him yesterday what I felt.
I found out myself he was cheating on me.
I told him that he is a liar, cheater, and a manipulative son-of-a-b*tch.
I just told him everything I felt and told him he'd pay for everything he's done to me.
When I went over to his house he just wanted to get in my pants again but seeing that I didn't give it to him he started acting super cold afterwards.
I'm done.
I've been happy with the help of my friends these past 2 months and I'm glad I'm not as attached to him.
I'm glad he's moving to a different country soon.
I'm glad I saw his true colors.
Thank you all so much.
When I start dating again in some years I'll let you all know.
[Big Grin]

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Sans
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quote:
Originally posted by karibenitez:
I'm done.
I've been happy with the help of my friends these past 2 months and I'm glad I'm not as attached to him.
I'm glad he's moving to a different country soon.
I'm glad I saw his true colors.
Thank you all so much.
When I start dating again in some years I'll let you all know.
[Big Grin]

Yay, I'm so happy that you feel clearer with this!
And I second Wesluck! I really hope that you will find someone who is loving and respectful of you! [Smile]

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"Sneak away, sneak away / If the fate is too sad / You are not a flower of hell / That kind of place... / Don't become lost, don't become lost... / Or you won't be able to grasp the entangled hand / The cry also has a limit...." - Naraku no Hana

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karibenitez
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I feel so much relieved!
I feel so much happier knowing who is really is and that I'm no longer with him!
Phew!
I feel like screaming!
In a happy way. [Smile]
Thanks everyone.
If I ever have any more problems with him I'll let you guys know... but I'm sure this is the last I will ever hear of him. [Big Grin]

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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