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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » breakup

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Author Topic: breakup
Member # 49571

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I know there's articles and posts about this topic, but I just really feel like I need to post. Just to get it out because I'm feeling awful lonely right now :/

My boyfriend (well, ex, now) and I were best friends for a couple years before we started dating. It lasted for 2 1/2 years, and has been on-and-off for the past 2 months, finally ending the 23rd. (I'm 20, if you want reference)

Concerning the reason for breaking up, I moved out of my parents house and into the city (closer to him) for school, something happened to me (not a big deal, but i was upset) and he wasn't there for me at all. in fact, straight up ignored me for a week. I was upset, we broke up for a couple days, then we were kind of together for like, a day, before he fucked up again by totally blowing me off for an important event. We were broken up again for a bit after that but got back together. Then, last week, I realized that I still wasn't ok with everything that went down, so we decided, after a long, amazing talk, to be on a sort of break again (but this was a happy break, painful, but happy). Then, tuesday night, friends were in from town and we went to a party with them. We all ended up crashing at his place, and I slept in his bed with him just to not make it weird for our other friends. The next morning, I woke up early, because I had to leave for class and he's all "no, stay, don't go yet." so, of course i stay for a bit. Then, he starts touching me in a sexual way. I knew it was wrong, but it was so hard to push him away. We didn't even kiss, when he asked me if he "could **** me," as he so lovingly put it. I snapped into reality at that point and left as quickly as possible. I called him that night, and told him that what he did made me feel like that was all he wanted from me and yucky feeling.

I feel so shitty. On one hand, I love this guy so much. So much. He is my perfect match. We have such a great time together. But I don't know if I can ever feel fully comfortable around him again after what he's done. I have a lot of anger towards him right now, for ruining our relationship and for doing all those things to me.

I don't know...I just feel so conflicted. Any advice is welcome. Right now, I'm planning on waiting at least a couple of weeks before I see him at all....god, i wish none of this had happened.

Posts: 9 | From: Chicago | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.

Can I ask you to maybe clue us in a bit more on what "doing all those things to me" means? As well as the feeling that he, alone, ruined your relationship? By all means, it seems like he wasn't there for you when you really needed him to be, twice in a very short time, and it seems he asked for sex post-breakup and that's not something you felt comfortable with. But I feel like I'm somehow missing pieces here.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 89262

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Someone who is your perfect match doesn't make you feel like that, let alone treat you like that. I'm sorry you two are having a difficult time right now. I think you're better off without him, though. You're young, you have so much time to meet new and interesting people.
Posts: 1 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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