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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » First heartbreak

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Author Topic: First heartbreak
Member # 52204

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my boyfriend recently broke up with me, he was unhappy because I was always upset and we were arguing a lot. I didn't believe this, and contacted a friend of his, asking her the truth, she said he was really beating himself up for it but it was something he had to do and he hoped to get back together with me after. However, he got really mad because I had contacted her, saying I was just over reacting and saying that he had no private life. I was upset. He told me he hated me and he will never forgive me.
I stopped talking to him for just over a week after that, to let him cool down a bit I guess. I called him yesterday, he picked up and he told me he wanted to talk to me on skype. I logged on and we had small talk, he was somewhat busy with music and stuff anyways. It was nice anyways, but now I am stuck in this horrible sitauation in which I am still really in love with him. I keep imagining us together, laughing, smiling, whatever you like. I try to imagine these things with other people and I just... I just cant. I dream about him being with other girls, kissing them, or even just dreaming about them himself. I am so very confused.
Yesterday I noticed that he had not taken down any pictures that I had drawn for him [art means a lot to me] on his wall. Including ones which say "I love you" on them.
However, I noticed he deleted a whole album of some of our memories together and no longer wears this bracelet that I made for him, which he must have had to cut off.
I am so uneasy and so confused. I kind of want to get over him but at the same time I love him so much that I don't want to be with anyone else but him. It's horrible, I can't go a day without thinking about him, even if I try, something ends up reminding me of him. It's constant.

Posts: 28 | From: London | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm also really sorry, as we talked about in your last post, that this has been a pretty ugly split for you both. [Frown]

As with any kind of loss, working through it is a process. So, often one won't be able to visualize themselves with others so soon, or feel comfortable imagining a partner with a new partner. Trying to go there when a breakup just happens seems to me to be trying to leap WAY far ahead.

If this just happened, right now, you're likely to just need to grieve, and feel what you're feeling. We can't move forward before we've been where we are, really.

So, what are you doing to take care of yourself while you process this?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 72701

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Hey Vallina,

Im sorry to hear about this situation. [Frown] I just wanted to say that even though it might be tough now and even if everything does remind you of him, don't worry too much kay? A grieving process is normal.

I suggest you use your time to focus on yourself and give yourself some attention. Do whatever you enjoy; read, play video games, paint a house, play some Bingo. Whatever YOU enjoy, and have fun.

I hope you feel better.

--- SilverLining

SilverLining 2012

Posts: 97 | From: Lost along in the Caribbean... | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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