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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Cheering Up Boyfriend?

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Author Topic: Cheering Up Boyfriend?
Roxie102
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Sometimes my boyfriend gets in verbal arguments with his dad, and afterward he always feels really bummed and mopey and worthless. Does anyone have some ideas on how I could cheer him up?
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SilverLining
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Have you just tried talking to him about what happened?
Make sure he knows your there for him, maybe take his mind off of it by talking about things he enjoys instead.

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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a lot of times he just doesn't want to talk about it. I let him know I'll listen to whatever he wants to say, but he tends to just keep quiet.
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Captain Girl
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Does he want to be cheered up?

I have frequently found that, after an argument, I am unhappy until I have some time to process the events and my reactions. I find attempts to make me happy really annoying during this time - they don't honor the feelings I'm having, and they make the emotional processing take longer.

However, it does help me to know that there are people I can talk to if I need to, when I'm ready. Some people like those people to stay close, others don't so much. Either way, give it time. Ask if you can help and listen to what he says.

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SilverLining
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Thats good, offering to hear him out a mean. Maybe to make him feel more comfortable by sharing things that bother you? But not at the same time, in other situations so he knows he can share what's bothering him without being felt like he's bothering you with his problems because that can always happen.

You could just talk about other things to cheer him up, once he's feeling better maybe then he'll feel more comfortable talking about what happened, I suggest not bringing it up though unless he does.

I'm sorry I can't offer anymore help :/

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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thanks guys, that was helpful, but now I have a new problem - as a result of their argument last night, my boyfriend has been put on phone restriction, indefinitely. We're in a long distance relationship, and phone calls are our main method of communication. We talk every day. I'm so sad, and I don't know what to do. [Frown]
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SilverLining
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I'm so sorry to hear that. [Frown]

Do you guys use any other ways of communicating? Skype, MSN or emails?

There are plenty ways of communicating these days, maybe you can find another way that works best for you. Is there any other way you can get in contact with him?

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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we chat on Facebook sometimes, but his internet can be kind of shoddy sometimes, plus I don't know if he got his computer taken away as well. I wish we could skype, but he doesn't have a webcam and as I said, his internet sucks.

His dad can just be so insensitive. I don't see why he couldn't have just given my boyfriend a different punishment, like take away his video games or something, you know, something that doesn't punish me as well. His dad likes me and all, so I just don't know. I just hope this doesn't last long...

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Roxie102
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sorry, if you guys can't help me, that's fine. I kinda just needed to talk...

SilverLining, I just read your thread about you and your girlfriend. I'm terribly sorry. I hope it works out between you two. It kinda put my problems in perspective...

[ 08-03-2011, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: marie293 ]

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SilverLining
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It's alright, trust me, in these situations you learn to realize exactly how much a person means to you, when you talk to someone on a daily basis people tend to take things like that for granted. I'm coping well I think, I just write her emails everyday about how my day is. I think well be able to start emailing each other back in October, until then her inbox will be flooded by emails from me.

Skype doesn't nessisarily mean you have to webcam, the chat itself is a whole lot more reliable than Facebook chat I believe. I think emailing might be good to do...that way even if he isn't online you can still send him what your thinking. I think it's important in a LDR especially with different time zones if you can't get on the same time; assuming that's not the case with you two though.

I hope you all the best marie293, just remember, when you do get to talk to him, don't take it for granted [Smile] How long have you been in the long distance relationship with him?

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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that's so sweet about her inbox being flooded with your emails. [Smile]

I think I'll speak to him soon about emailing each other in addition to our calls. I think it'll help us share more of our lives with each other.

yes, I know for a fact I'll never take talking to him everyday for granted again. I knew he meant a lot to me, but I never knew how much until now.

We've been dating for about 7 1/2 months, and we're only a little over two hours away from each other, but with our busy schedules (I go to boarding school, he's in ROTC and runs cross country, plus he used to be in the band), we only get to see each other more or less once a month. It's worth it though. We love each other very much and intend to stay together as long as we both want.

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SilverLining
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That's good, I think emailing is great whenever somethings bothering you and you don't know who to talk to.

I hope you both stay together and happy for a long time, don't worry if your relationship does have hard times when you can't talk, just remember that it'll get better, and it will.

I hope you both the best for your relationship [Smile]

Sincerely, Donovan Zievinger; glad I could help in any way possible [Smile]

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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thanks so much, Donovan. It was great to have someone to talk to. [Smile]
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SilverLining
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No problem; anytime [Smile]

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SilverLining 2012

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Roxie102
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Hey Donovan, just wanted to let you know that my boyfriend and I got to talk for about an hour tonight. [Smile] We did a lot of catching up and he asked me how this past week made me feel. I told him it made me remember how much I love him and how much I love having him in my life, that when he's not there, it's so much more obvious. We were both in good spirits, and I'm really glad we've gotten through this rough patch. It just made our relationship stronger.

Best of luck to you. [Smile]

[ 08-08-2011, 09:17 PM: Message edited by: marie293 ]

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SilverLining
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I'm very glad to hear that marie and I'm so glad I could be the one that helped you. [Smile]
Just remember, whenever you both are going through a hard time, just stick together cause itll always get better. Have you both tried emailing yet? It sounds like your very happy to be able to contact him again.
I hope that your relationship continues strong.
I wish you both the best marie.

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SilverLining 2012

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