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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Confused

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Author Topic: Confused
rldove13
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I've been with my boyfriend for the last few months and whenever we hang out we end up doing something sexual. Which is fine by me, but whenever we do something I always go first (he does something to me) and then its his turn (I do something to him). Usually we stop after this and just chill, but if we start to do something again I'm not always into it, but I get roped into it anyway. Something I feel like I let my bf do basically wants to do to me. I don't know what to do...should I stay in the relationship or not?

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Thanks so much!
Becca

Posts: 136 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
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Coercion is never ok. You should only be doing activities you want to do, and never just "letting" him do what he wants TO you. Have you told him how you are feeling about this?

You can always leave the relationship for any reason you want. If you feel that the dynamic of this relationship is not going to change, that is certainly your prerogative.

[ 08-01-2011, 07:53 PM: Message edited by: KatWA ]

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~Kat
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Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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SilverLining
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Honestly I think this is more about preference than something else. Does it upset you that it feels like as if he can do whatever he wants?

When you say that you normally just get roped into things, do you mean you do it even though you don't really want to or as in he gets you aroused and you go along with it?

Is everything else in the relationship satisfying with you?

Could you explain why you would think this is a deal breaker to make you think about breaking up with him so we can understand a bit more where your coming from?

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SilverLining 2012

Posts: 97 | From: Lost along in the Caribbean... | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rldove13
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No I have not told him yet. Yes that is usually what happens he gets me aroused and I just go along with it, but sometimes I just get annoyed with him keep asking me to do something do I just do it.

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Thanks so much!
Becca

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SilverLining
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Ah, well now I understand a bit more [Smile] thank you for clearing that up. What I suggest before you turn to ending the relationship then is to actually talk to him about it. Since you say normally when your alone it turns sexual, sit across from him rather than next to him and adress the matter.

Tell him what you feel when something like that does happen and exain to him why your upset with the matter. He should have common sense to know you are not his "plaything" or anything like that that he can make you do whatever he wants.

Im suggesting these things assuming you DO want to keep this relationship btw; maybe you could start something simple; if he tries to play around with you and you don't want to; just simply say no. You don't have to do anything you don't want to; and tell him if he's pressuring you into doing things you don't want to then this relationship isn't working out for you because it's making you think twice about the relationship between you both.

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SilverLining 2012

Posts: 97 | From: Lost along in the Caribbean... | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rldove13
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Thank you [Smile]

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Thanks so much!
Becca

Posts: 136 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SilverLining
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Your welcome RR4ever, glad
I could help you [Smile]

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SilverLining 2012

Posts: 97 | From: Lost along in the Caribbean... | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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