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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Talking to my gf about safer sex

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Author Topic: Talking to my gf about safer sex
justinbieberfan
Activist
Member # 54253

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I plan to have my girlfriend over this coming Tuesday, you know just to hang out.
But I realized yesterday that from all my recent wet dreams, that I am now capable of becoming a father, and she (as far as I know) may start menstruating soon and she can become pregnant... oh my goodness I need your help [Frown]

Can you give me some pointers on talking to my gf about safe (maybe safer) sex practices?
-jbf

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~Prince of Equestria~

Posts: 65 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rolta
Neophyte
Member # 49038

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Everybody has wet dreams, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to have sex right away. Have you two talked about sex at all? Or have you been having sex already? Even if she hasn't started her period you should still use a condom because she's going to ovulate before she gets her first period which means she can get pregnant.
Posts: 17 | From: Columbus Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Firefly-
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 26516

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Hi there,

I'm going to link you to a whole bunch of articles from our main site that I think you'd really benefit from reading. You could even read them with your girlfriend and talk about them together to initiate talking about safer sex. I also invite you to browse any articles or Sexpert Advice questions I don't link to here because we really have a ton of resources on the main site.

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Birth Control Bingo!

The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method

Condom Basics: A User's Manual

Driver's Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent

First Intercourse 101

Pregnancy Scared?

Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

Testing, Testing...

Your Map to the Condom Aisle

[ 07-22-2011, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: -Vero- ]

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Vero
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 1345 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
justinbieberfan
Activist
Member # 54253

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Hi there,

If you're reading this right now, yes, I've read the articles you linked me to. They were very well written and informative. [Wink]

But I do have a situation that's been hanging over me for quite a while. My mom doesn't know we're having sex. How can we keep this just between ourselves?

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~Prince of Equestria~

Posts: 65 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Firefly-
Scarleteen Volunteer
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I'm glad you found the articles informative!

In general, we try to advocate being honest with parents about stuff like this when possible. It can make life easier if you know you have a trusted adult to talk to about any concerns you might have and some parents are open-minded enough about their children being sexually active.

That being said, I do understand that sometimes talking to parents is very daunting, especially if you think (or know) you won't get a supportive reaction. If that's the case (or you're just not ready to talk to your mom about it yet), the best thing I can suggest is just trying to find private time. For example, when your mom is not home, maybe going to your girlfriend's house instead or simply closing (and/or locking) your door. Unfortunately, when you still live with your parents, it can be hard to get that time, but I recommend sticking to a safe environment like home anyway. Does that make sense?

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Vero
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 1345 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
justinbieberfan
Activist
Member # 54253

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Maybe I should let you know this.

My gf's parents are divorced, and the parents were given joint custody (that means having to switch houses every week). She's at her dad's this week.

I'll be on vacation starting this Thursday.

She'll be at her dad's the week after that, then she'll be at her mom's the week I have now planned for this. If this fails, I'll have to resort to complete abstinence (waiting until I can actually commit to an intimate relationship). [Frown] But I might masturbate [Smile]

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~Prince of Equestria~

Posts: 65 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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