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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Not Attracted to Girlfriend?

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Author Topic: Not Attracted to Girlfriend?
Member # 43338

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A couple months ago I started dating this girl I met online, and for about a month we have considered ourselves in a relationship ("boyfriend/girlfriend").

Personality-wise I think we are a really good match. We can have good conversations about meaningful issues, we seem to have similar values, and we enjoy time together.

I feel guilty about it but I am not very attracted to her. There is no physical spark or energy at this point. Been trying to sort through whether I am adopting society's views on what is pretty (she is on the heavy side), but to put it simply, I'm just not feelin' it. For example, I don't feel compelled to kiss, etc.

So where do I go from here? It's getting to the point where I'm going to meet her family soon. I don't want to force something that doesn't feel natural, but I also don't want to be hurtful and shallow by ending the relationship for that reason alone. Plus, I might feel like I compromised a value of mine by judging someone based on their looks.

Also, open communication is usually great, but this isn't exactly the type of thing I could bring up with her directly.

Anybody involved in a similar situation? Or any thoughts to share?


Posts: 44 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 36725

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Before getting too in-depth with an answer, have you met her in-person yet?

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43338

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Yes, it's somewhat of a long-distance relationship, but we get together in person every two weeks or so.
Posts: 44 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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