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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » depressed confused hopeless / family problems

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Author Topic: depressed confused hopeless / family problems
Member # 48752

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really dont know who to turn to with this but im feeling very lost and hopeless. I have a job that is only part time but now im even finding it difficult leaving the house, even getting ready. It all started to get really bad when I was off for a week with work, and all of a sudden i felt like i couldnt stand on my own two feet in life. I was getting cold sweats during the nights with panic attacks, feeling like i was getting choked because my chest was so tight, and i was eating my brekfast in the morning and being sick straight after.The only person that i really turned to was my mam which is quite stupid as im 18 , id spend nights just saying "what am i going to do" and i still do. Even going out for a meal to me has always been difficult.....
I am very close to my mam shes been there for me since i was 14 with the depression but lately i just feel like im loosing all strength :,(
Im currently having CBT to try and help with the way i think but i just cant even connect with my family anymore, there sick of hearing me going on about the side effects im having on my anti depressents and hearing me going on about how i feel, i feel very detatched and cant even have normal conversation anymore- Its making me feel very drowsy, and unstable on my feet, i almost feel drunk with the effects its having on me. I just dont know what to do anymore, my mam and dad have told me that im going to have to get over this myself somehow and get some independence, (something ive never really had) I do try my best to keep myself happy , but the reason i never go out with my friends is because of my confidence and how uncomfortable i feel in public, id usually act through it and act confident but now i just cant even smile.
I just really dont know how to react when im so depressed around family ? should i act as if im alright and try to have normal conversation.
I know i should be working but i just cant even see a future for myself anymore [Frown] ( im trying my best to stay strong and remember the most important people in my life (my family) but im making them angry and upset because i have no strength to even go to work/ to go out etc

please help sorry for the essay ! [Frown]

Posts: 119 | From: Scotland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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sunkissed: I'm so sorry that I won't have time for this today, I'm just getting ready to leave town and don't want to get involved in a big talk with you only to have to drop off for the rest of the week.

But I'll leave a note for our volunteers about your post. Hang in there!

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48752

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thankyou heather ! x
Posts: 119 | From: Scotland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

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Hey sunkissedx:

Really sorry to hear you're having such a tough time right now. From what you're saying, although you're taking anti depressants, they're really not doing a lot of good. Have you spoken with your doctor about this yet? Given you're having panic attacks at night, it may very well also be that this disturbance in sleep patterns because of the panic attacks is contributing to these feelings (as depression tends to be worse when you're not sleeping well) so that's something else you may want to talk with your doctor about.

Per your family, it may be sage to just let them know that you're trying to work things out, but not to try and be or appear happy when you're not feeling that way. It gives off the idea that everything's totally okay, when it's not feeling that way,and makes it really hard for them to gauge when and if you really do need additional support from them. Make sense?

Can I ask what you've been doing for yourself lately? Have you been taking some time to do things that typically make you feel good? Whether that's journaling, making jewelery, painting your nails and doing your hair, watching a sport, whatever?

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bump on a log
Member # 60751

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Just to chip in briefly -- It's not stupid to rely on your mam; I'm 22 and I rely on mine, and I know people my age who do too, and a woman in her 50s who says "my mum is my rock".

Also, if you've been on the antidepressants for a while and they're still having bad side-effects like this, DO go talk to your doctor about them. You may be able to get the dose lowered, you may be able to get switched to another drug that won't affect you so badly, you may be able to take some vitamins that will counteract some of the effects. And if you just decide you want to come off them, you should definitely do that under medical supervision as it can go badly wrong otherwise. So tell the doctor all about what's up with the pills.

Posts: 170 | From: UK | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48752

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I went to the drs today and he'd said that i still should take the antidepressents and simply wait for the effects to happen. I also have a counsiler who i regularly see but i havnt had an appointment with her for longer than a month due to work. but its getting to the point now, where i cant actually go to work because im feeling that stressed and up tight im ready to have a nervous breakdown and having endless amounts of sick notes. Im not really spending the time looking after myself because im that nervous and up tight im exhausted! [Frown]

ive spoke to my family about how i feel and theyve basically told me everything i dont want to hear that i just have to get on with it and deal with it in the best way i can. ive been talking and talking getting upset and angry lots and lots of emotions and my dad sat down and basically said that they cant solve this problem for me i need to sort it out :/ maybe they think im not very independent but this anxiety is the main thing thats scaring me and keeping me from doing all of the different things that i want to do.
If i speak up things just get worse and worse because nobody wants to hear it in my family because they are going to work and getting on with it...i dont know what to do or who to turn to anymore [Frown] ((((

Posts: 119 | From: Scotland | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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It sounds to me like you would benefit from seeing your counselor more often than that. Have you and your counselor tried to find a way to get in at least a weekly counseling session? Or if she has a very full schedule, could she maybe refer you to someone who is more flexible and can work around your hours? Seeing a counselor only once a month really isn't enough if you're in such deep crisis, especially if you're also only just adjusting to new meds.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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