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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriend wants to go to a strip club

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Author Topic: boyfriend wants to go to a strip club
Member # 60699

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My boyfriend is turning 18 in about a month. His best friend turned 18 back in December, and they decided that when my boyfriend turns 18 in May, they'd celebrate by going to a strip club, because that's one of those things you can finally do when you turn 18 (you know, like buying porn or cigarettes or a lottery ticket). Back in December I didn't really think much of it and laughed it off, saying "haha, can I come too?" like it was no big deal. I guess I wanted to sound like the cool girlfriend who's open to that, or something. But now that I've had time to think about it, I've realized I really, really don't like the idea of him going to a strip club. I know I'll be jealous and upset to think of him (or see him) getting turned on by some other woman dancing naked on him. I mean, who wouldn't be uncomfortable with that? I guess I'm kind of insecure. But the thing is, I feel like I shouldn't be trying to stop it because it's just a one-time thing with his best friend as an 18th birthday celebration. I don't want to be that controlling girlfriend who tells him NO but I already know that if it happens, it's going to make me upset.
Posts: 31 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Have you talked to your boyfriend about your feelings at all? It's perfectly okay (and not at all uncool) to be uncomfortable with your boyfriend going to a strip club.

Letting him know how you feel does not have to equal asking him not to go. It may already help you if he explains why he wants to go and what he expects it to be like. Or maybe you can compromise, set some limits that you're both okay with, etc.

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43186

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I agree with what Joey said. Telling him you're uncomfortable with the idea, too, doesn't necessarily equate with telling him he can't go; if you can, I'd tell him exactly what you told us here, and see if you can find a comfortable compromise for both of you. Good luck!


The highest result of education is tolerance. -Helen Keller

Posts: 50 | From: Halfway down the California coast | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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