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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He is Awkward

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Author Topic: He is Awkward
Member # 49564

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I am interested in this guys who is extremely backwards and awkward. Since we have started talking he has come out of his shell a little, bit its still strained when we talk face to face. Now, I know with starting any new relationship there are going to be some rough bumps to get over. But there are other things that makes this one of those unconventional starts. He is 6 years older than me, I being 16 (almost 17). This isnt illegal according to the age of consent law where I live, but still he is worried about what his family will say...which he has every right to. But I have a concern of my own, I am atleast 50 pounds heavier than he is. I havent talked to him about this, and he seems to still be interested in getting to know despite the weight difference. Any advice on how to combat the awkwardness(im afraid it will eventually get in the way of getting to know each other), should I bring up the weight thing (I feel like im being superficial)?
Posts: 11 | From: United States | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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what do you mean by backwards and awkward?

I've only been in relationships with men older than men, one with a *significant* age difference. My current bf is 4 years my senior and this is the smallest age gap in a relationship i've had.
There is a HUGE difference between someone say.. 30 dating someone 6 years their senior and a 16 yr old dating a 22/23 year old.
I'm about to turn 22, and in 6 years, my entire life has changed, i have grown as a person and my understanding of other people, the world, and myself have all changed. The idea of having an intimate relationship with a 16 year old makes me feel.. it just would not work. It would not, could not, last. We would be worlds apart. the final years of adolesence are a huge turning point in a persons life.

So, in light of that, while i'm not here to lay down the judgement against you, i am very wary of saying that this is a healthy relationship dynamic. He *should* be worried about what his family (and his friends, and YOUR friends and family) will say because they will feel uncomfortable with what he's doing. As the adult he should take a step back and assess whether or not this is actually a sitation that's best for *you*.

Do you have a someone you can talk to in-person about this? like a parent, a teacher, a close adult friend? I think if you decide to move ahead with this relationship it's a very good idea to have an adult third party who you can talk to, who has your best interests at heart.

In regards to the weight.. it is very doubtful you'll have only relationships with partners who are the same height and weight as you, it is more likely you'll be different shapes and sizes. That's how it goes, because people of ALL shapes and sizes are beautiful and attractive to other people of all shapes and sizes.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 58400

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I think that if you really and truly want to get to know him, you need to work at it as much as you can, but don't over-do it. Do your best to make it seem natural and normal to him (which it is). Yes, I agree, that it's a huge age difference, but age is just a number and he may be the one for you.

I agree that your weight shouldn't matter to you if he doesn't care. It's most important for you to feel comfortable and happy with yourself.

Best of Luck,

"Being Happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections" -Unknown

Posts: 11 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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