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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Help with relationship decision.

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Author Topic: Help with relationship decision.
Member # 42069

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(Ignore the UN those were some rough HS years, it was a while ago [Razz] )

I am going to step out on a limb here and try to see if I can get any help.

I have been in a relationship with and amazing girl I met my freshman year of college for the last year and half or so. But I don't know what to do, she is an amazing person, kind, strong, thoughtful, but I think I am just phasing out.

For two months or so I have been finding myself just slowing becoming more distant, and if anything she is opening up more and hurts me to know that I am not feeling the same heart that I had when we met.

We have very different interests, views on life, and ambitions but we continue to stay together. If anything I think may be just because we fear we can not do any better.

But I really just want to be on my own for a while, I don't really miss her over winter break or summer break, we never having meaningful talks, we just get along, but don't connect. I don't know what love is, but I don't think it is this.

We get along physically quite well [Smile] . But I am tormented by the fact everyday I'm just hurting her and I know it would be better for her and for me if just moved on.

Dating is to find what you want in someone you love, perfections, imperfections.

But I feel like she has no idea, and I feel like I am being awful person if I tell her that I want to be on my own, move on, etc. I don't want to devastate her.

It is not like I haven't enjoyed everything we have done together, talked about, it is not that she is bad person, I just sorta want to be on my own for while.

Damn.. RANT!

Humph... I just don't know how to handle this?

Posts: 2 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Jan 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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Hi LK!

Your answer is in the question: "I really just want to be on my own for a while". The relationship has run its course and now it's time to end it. There's nothing wrong with that.
Also? if my partner stayed with me instead of following his heart and ending it out of not wanting to hurt me? i would be so hurt and angry. That would be worse than the break up. Break ups can be painful but pain doesn't last forever. Holding off the break up isn't really doing her any favours. Be honest and resolute: i've enjoyed our relationship so much and you're very special to me, but i feel it has run its course and i want to end it now.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 46374

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May Day is right the answer is in your question you say you feel as if your not in the relationship anymore that you dont feel the same for her that you did in the start so you need to tell her that dont let her believe that you guys have something when you fee as if you dont its not right and the longer this goes on the harder its gonna get and the more it will hurt her.

11-20-09 james tyler mommy loves you

Posts: 42 | From: usa | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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