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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Total Confuse...

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Author Topic: Total Confuse...
cannavaro
Neophyte
Member # 47524

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I like one of my colleague in my work place. She was kind and special for me. Recently I told her that I like her. She ask me why and she need time to think about it.
But I thought thing was getting worse as she was like avoiding me and quiet. Whenever I approach her she look shy and does not seems to bother me anymore.
We finally spoke up yesterday and she told me that she has interest on another guy and "she need time to think". She also told me that I could find a better girl rather than her. She apologize and wish she does not hurt me. Today she said that she doesn't want to get into relationship again.

I was quite hurt at first but now I'm just very confused... Pls advice...
1. She said "She need time to think" But another point she said that she doesn't want to get into relationship again. What is her thought actually? Shall I wait for the chance?
2. My mind had almost decided to forgo her but my heart is still feeling about her. What can I do?
3. We are working together. I did told her that I respect what she did and begging her to resume our friendship(not relationship) just like last time where We used to talk alot and share laughter. I'm sad and in a difficult position now as she keep trying to avoid me and kept quiet. I don't think I hurt her but why she does this? Should I leave this work place and sacrifies this job that I like so much?

Pls help me. My heart is extremely sour and my mind is really confusing. I can't concentrate many things now.

Posts: 14 | From: Asia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
skiesofgreen
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Member # 46170

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Hi cannavaro, I'm sorry to hear this didn't work out for you.

Unfortunately no one will be able to tell you exactly what her thought process was except for her. But her saying she doesn't want a relationship at this time seems to pretty clearly indicate that, for whatever reason, you and her are not going to work out right now, and I think it's probably best in this situation to take her at her word.

When it comes to her avoiding you the same is true. Its possible that she feels embarrassed about this situation or like things are awkward between the two of your right now, but again no one can know that for sure but her. If you've already told her you'd like to try to go back to just being friends and she has rejected this offer unfortunately I think the best thing might be to simply give her space.

As for getting over her, that is never an easy situation and I don't think there are ever any easy solutions. Sometimes it simply takes time, though focusing on other areas of your life and getting out and doing activities that take your mind off of her might help.

Also I'm confused as to why you feel you need to leave your work place. Is this situation is stopping you from performing your job? Do you feel getting out of this situation is worth leaving a workplace you apparently really like? Do you see no other, less drastic alternatives to this problem?

[ 01-26-2011, 02:44 AM: Message edited by: skiesofgreen ]

Posts: 245 | From: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cannavaro
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Member # 47524

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Hi, thanks to your advice.

She is a little girl who is innocent and adorable. It is very difficult to understand her character and that why I fall for her as I want to know her better and more. But things went wrong I guess. She said that she need time to think? Is she really giving chance but to wait or she simply does not want to hurt me too much?

I got to know from my close friend that she likes a person which is a girl(Maybe but no definate answer) because she was very close with a girl and she can do almost everything just for that girl. Is it because of this hence she doesn't want a relationship with me?

I felt very awkward when I met her at our work place, everytime. My mindset done well to forgo her, but my heart still has the feeling of attaching to her whenever I saw her. Truthfully, I found no alternative for this. Perhaps you can advice me further...

Posts: 14 | From: Asia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
skiesofgreen
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I think at this point it'd be best to stop trying to analyze why she may or may not have done these things. Ultimately no one but this girl can know why she acted the way she did, and the only way anyone else can find out is if she decides to share that information. Do you know what I mean?

As hard as it may be, sometimes accepting that this knowledge is beyond our ability to know is important, and might also help you stop obsessing about her and her actions.

Also, I think it's important to know that the awkwardness and pain associated with these situations usually fades over time. So while right now it may be very awkward and uncomfortable, know that it likely won't always feel that way.

For now, are there other areas of your life you could focus your energy on (instead of on this girl), for instance a hobby?

And at work is there any way for you to minimize how often you run into her?

Posts: 245 | From: British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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