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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I like someone 11 years older than me?

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Author Topic: I like someone 11 years older than me?
Love to love
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Member # 45991

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I'm 19 so its completely legal. I just wanted to get that out there.. I met him when I was 17 at my favorite restaurant; they cook in front of you and he was my chef. I've been going to this place since I was really young so I know the owner and everyone there I'm even friends with one of the cooks outside of work; well they all knew I thought he was cute when I was younger - well I found him on facebook from the other friend from the restaurant. I didn't know how old exactly he was, I just knew he was older. Well we started talking and he asked if I had a boyfriend and I said no I didn't and we continued to talk. Well he eventaully asked me on a date I agreed to it, we continued to talk for a week (our date got pushed back because I got really sick and he was understanding) well we hung out today/tonight. We both don't have a problem with the age difference. I'm a lot more mature for my age than most girls. But anyways we went to lunch and ended up hanging out at his place. I could tell he was really interrested in me, and I actually really enjoyed my time with him too. My only issue with it, is my brothers are having a fit and my mom isn't too happy for it, but she knows he's doing good things in his life. I told my mom to just calm down for now until something gets serious. We only had a first date today... I just don't know how to handle them that is my issue here.. any advice?
Posts: 115 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, have you been pretty level-headed about dating in the past? If you have, then one thing you might talk about with your family is that they can reference your past behavior to know that you know how to do things like pace a relationships and be on the lookout for anything unhealthy.

I think the fact that you have filled them in on this also speaks volumes: it's not like you're dating in hiding or secrecy.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Love to love
Activist
Member # 45991

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I wasn't the most levelheaded, but I learned a lot and have become more levelheaded and strong. But they know I'm a good girl and make really good choices for the most part so..

I know I could have kept it a secret but I've told them.. and they're freaking out about it. Mostly my brothers who aren't active in my life, so I'm not sure why out of all things and times they're concerned now. I know my family would love him if they got to know him.. but my brothers are so against it.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, maybe talk about the ways you've changed in that?

I think it's also sound to remind people that we're talking about a date here. You're not talking about moving in with this person, running away with this person, maybe even not having sex with this person. You're talking about a date, right?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Love to love
Activist
Member # 45991

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Well she doesn't know that much about my past relationship. When things were happening (good and bad) I didn't involve her much because she had her own personal problems.. and I didn't tell her right away when we broke up because I just didn't want to make it a big deal because I knew I would be fine.

Yes a date. Everytime he's brought up she has a cow and doesn't want to hear about it. She just walked away and was like "I don't approve I know what he wants you're just making him feel young! I know what it's like I did the same thing when I was 22 and I was older than you!" But I don't think she realizes how mature I am, I don't want to play games I want to find someone to eventually be settling down with and not many guys my age want any of that. But anything I tell her about this guy she runs off and tells my brohters and it makes me so mad because its like I said before, it makes me not want to tell her things because it's not a big deal, I told her at least I was honest with her and she didn't care she's just rude and it hurts my feelings shes doing all this.

Posts: 115 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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