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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » im 15 and ready but scared. can u help?

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Author Topic: im 15 and ready but scared. can u help?
punkgirl 95
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Member # 51217

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hello im 15 and i have a bf who is 17. we have been dating for 2 months now and we have been feeling alot of passion and we both wanna have sex with each other. We are both virgens. He told me he would wait for me till i felt ready for sex. he also told me that he is a lil scared to really do anything, but every time we start to make out we get really passionite and onetime it ended up with me on top of him and well me dry humping him, and making him cum [Embarrassed]
the thing is that i want to wait till im 16 in june. he agreed to this but now its just up to me. i want to wait cause 1) im kinda scared to have sex. 2)im the last teen girl in my family to still have there v-card. 3)my family would kill me if they found out if i had sex. but its hard for me to try to wait cause 1) wheni get around him itdoesnt matter if we arint doing anything sexual or making out, just hanging and i want to play "cowgirl and cowboy" [Wink] . 2)my hormons are going crazy! and i want to have sex with my loving sweet kind bf. 3) when im around him my mind always have fantisy going though my mind and makes it worse. 4) he knows where my hot spots are (the spots that make me horny) and when i go to play w his hot spots he plays w mine and it turnd me on really bad.
I have the best bf anyone could ask for, he has never pressured me or tryed to get me to do something that i didnt want to do or anything like that. hes kind sweet and some how knows me inside and out.
my problem is that im ready and i want to make love w my bf but im afread to cause im afread my family might find out and jugde me, or i might get in trouble for it. and like i said im the last virgen teen in my family, its alot of pressure on me to keep that title when i want to lose it. and also im afread cause i dont know what to expect and ive heard that when u do it the frist time u might bleed and feel pain [Frown]
do u have any adive for me? (i feel kinda dumb comeing on here and asking this or stateing thi stuff but i need help w this matter [Frown] )

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thanks =)

Posts: 51 | From: memphis tn | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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This isn't dumb at all.

I hear you saying you both feel scared. I hear some valid reasons to feel that way.

When we are ready, we won't tend to feel that scared, so why not just turn down the volume and hold off on sexual activities -- or the ones you feel scared about -- until you feel a lot LESS scared?

I also hear you saying you want to wait until you're 16. That sounds pretty clear to me per what you want, so why not hold out for what you want in that regard?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
punkgirl 95
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Member # 51217

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i want to but i mean when i get around him i just go crazy and it makes it hard. He told me last night that he wants what ever i want, if i want to wait he'll wait, if i want to have sex w him he wants it too. he said that hes ready but he doesnt want to push me to do anything that i dont want to do. and i thank god that i got a good boy like him its just me w the problem, cause i get really hormonal when im w him and want to but im just scared that its gonna hurt, or that ill get pregnet. he has a condom ready for when we do do it. i just dont want to feel pain i guess that the thing that scares me the most. [Frown]

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thanks =)

Posts: 51 | From: memphis tn | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Question Queen
Neophyte
Member # 52814

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Have you tried oral sex, yet?

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~ps.I love you~

Posts: 4 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Britster
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Member # 48970

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It might help if you defined your fear. For example, if you are afraid of some of the consequences (such as pregnancy), it would be best to not fight the fear, but to address it with proper measures. If you are afraid of potential pain, research what you can do to address that and be prepared. It might help if you wrote out what you are afraid of and what you can do proactively to address those fears.

You may end up deciding that you aren't as ready as you thought, and that's okay. I'm nearly 21 myself and still a virgin, and it don't mean that I don't have any desire to. Just because one has the desire doesn't mean one is ready.

Posts: 89 | From: United States | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CoatRack
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50455

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quote:
and i thank god that i got a good boy like him its just me w the problem, cause i get really hormonal when im w him and want to but im just scared that its gonna hurt, or that ill get pregnet. he has a condom ready for when we do do it. i just dont want to feel pain i guess that the thing that scares me the most. [Frown] [/QB]
There isn't a problem with you for feeling scared; can I ask why you say that "[you] with the problem"? It's not a bad thing or a wrong thing or anything else with a negative connotation to feel scared. It's simply how you feel. That's OK.

To me it does say that maybe you aren't totally ready - and that's OK! Sex can be a really big decision and it's a really good idea to wait until you feel excited and maybe a little nervous instead of scared.

[ 01-17-2011, 02:35 PM: Message edited by: CoatRack ]

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

Posts: 441 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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